


Dreams of Perdition

by Huntress_WomenSpirit



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adventure, Angels, Angst, Bisexual Realization, Blood and Violence, Close to death situations, Demons, Emotional Hurt, Explicit Language, Explicit Sex, Fate & Destiny, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, Mild Gore, Mysteries, Porn With Plot, Slow Build, Tablets, Whump, canonverse, casefic, hospital angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:14:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 37,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25630408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress_WomenSpirit/pseuds/Huntress_WomenSpirit
Summary: Set after season 9. Due to some kind of curse, Dean starts getting some... very vivid dreams about he and... Cas. Things he had not ever considered. Things he finds... he might even like?? That just can´t be. He has to get rid of this before things get more awkward. He´s not like that. And he can´t afford to get distracted now! The angel and demon tablets have returned, the angels are targeting Cas for a reason, and Crowley has got... access to some horrendous abyssal creatures from another plane that they have no idea how to defeat. He needs to keep his head in the game. But... they come every night. Goddammit...
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 25
Kudos: 43





	1. From dust you came

**Author's Note:**

> Set after season 9. No Mark of Cain plot, Trials didn´t fuck Sam up, Castiel has his Grace back with wings, Metratron was defeated without killing Dean and he´s dead. Most of it its kinda Dean POV, but some is more narrative and general. 
> 
> This is my first fanfic. Kudos and comments will be valued like nothing else. I just would like to know just if someone reads it and likes it :) Will you give me a try? ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the end of season 9. Everything is canon until the fall of the angels. Cas was God at one point, he was controlled by Naomi to attack Dean, he was later tricked by Metatron to cause the fall of the angels. First change is that the Trials never fucked Sam so bad, he was sick for a while but recovered; so no Gadreel was needed and Kevin is alive. 
> 
> Angels fell, Cas was human for some time, but recovered his Grace. Angels hated and hunted Cas for some time while Team Free Will looked for Metatron and a way to restore heaven. Third change is, no Abaddon, so no Mark of Cain- so Charlie is still alive, and has not met Cas yet. Rowena hasn’t ever appeared. Fourth change, they succeed in defeating Metratron without him killing Dean. Cas breaks the Angel Tablet in time for Dean to kill him with an angel blade. Metratron is dead cause I hate the bastard xD. Angel Tablet was destroyed into pieces by Cas in Heaven, and no one knows what happened to the Demon Tablet, since Metratron had it but he´s dead so he can´t tell. 
> 
> Right now Castiel is hated by most angels due to his past deeds- massacring as God once, causing the fall, guiding them but later abandoning them for Dean when the fight was with Metratron- but since he and the Winchesters defeated Metratron and restored Heaven, he´s officially spared… but not welcome anymore on Heaven. As Heaven is restored, all angels get their wings back. 
> 
> English is not my first language so sorry if I mess something up ^^ Constructive criticism will be valued as gold!!
> 
> PS- This fanfic was inspired by another one but I dont remember the title nor author. It was one in which Dean started having dreams about Cas being a bit BDSM with him. If anyone knows it, please let me know so I can credit it!!

A huge slap made Kevin gasp and start blinking his eyes.

“Wakey, wakey…”

His blood froze. He knew that voice, that British accent. When he could focus his terrified eyes, they locked onto a mischievous smile.

“Crowley”, he muttered, mouth suddenly dry, “H-How…?”

“I have my ways, boy”, the King of Hell answered walking around him, hands on his pockets.

Kevin looked around in confusion… he couldn’t move his head a lot. He was tied to a sturdy chair that had built-in straps that trapped his ankles and wrists… and something metallic was strapped to his forehead.

“Now, now”, Crowley continued talking, now from his back, setting his nerves on edge, “I totally understand how you would feel safer with both Tablets gone, huh? No need for a pesky little prophet if there ain´t no prophecies to decipher, right? I bet… you just wanted to go on with your life”

Kevin squeezed his eyes, jaw tight. He had feared this. He had feared that the moment he stepped outside, got to a coffee shop, to a restaurant, to see a sunset… the demons would find him. He had tried to think he wasn’t useful to them anymore. He really had thought so.

_Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid…_

Memories started to come back to him. He really hadn’t been that far away from the brothers. He was in like his third or fourth time out of the boat or bunker. The park had a lake, and was full of people. Dean was buying some hot dogs at a stand while Castiel looked around like the guardian angel he was. Kevin had been looking out at the lake, with Sam close by, chatting with a girl with a dog. At that point, he really had started to enjoy being out, feeling free… Maybe even safe.

So wrong. So, so wrong. Someone walked close behind him, and he jumped to look back. The guy had looked at him as if he was crazy, or insulting him. He had awkwardly apologized, reminded himself that not everyone was trying to kill him, that any demon that got close would be spotted by Cas. And looked back to the water.

Suddenly restrained by strong arms, a needle to his neck.

He panicked, screamed Dean´s name, grappled with the guy and tried to get away. He saw that same guy he though was just a normal, offended person; kinda smiling at him. Everything got dark so soon. He got a glimpse of Cas, looking wide-eyed on his direction, Dean throwing whatever he had on his hands to run toward him, Sam being held by the neck by the chick with the dog.

He didn’t remember more. He deduced very strongly that he hadn’t made it to him.

“There was just a teeny, tiny factor you hadn’t taken into account”

Kevin´s conscience came back to the present. Crowley, having completed the round around his chair, appeared again in his field of vision… holding a sack that sagged with weight. He looked sideways at him… and approached.

“Wait, what…? Hey!”, he protested as Crowley untied his right hand, he tried to avoid the sack as soon as he could move it, “No…!”

Crowley rolled his eyes and made a gesture with his head to…

To his left, another demon appeared. He seemed to have been waiting behind him with… a metal stick?

That… he approached to his forehead?

He screamed as he had the metal pin screwed into his forehead an inch, paralyzed from the pain, breathless. He vaguely felt Crowley take his trembling hand and, to his distant horror, put it inside the bag with whatever it was inside.

He felt a surge of power… that he knew.

As soon as the metal spike stopped moving, the pain got to a bearable level and after a few seconds of panting, he opened his eyes again. He looked towards the bag in disbelief.

Crowley, with a half smile of triumph, took the tablet out of the bag. The Angel Tablet.

“But… it was gone. Destroyed…”, mumbled Kevin, while a trickle of blood traveled between his eyebrows, down to the side of his nose.

“Yes. Rendered useless, as many angels thought. Difficult to get all the chips and chunks, the dust even, I have to say”, he mentioned while turning the tablet around, as if inspecting it… and finding it of acceptable quality. 

Kevin gulped. This was not the first time he had fixed the Word of God, but… Castiel had smashed it, he had said. The pieces had stayed in Heaven. Guarded by angels. Hadn´t they?

“How did you get that?”, he said in disbelief and horror.

Crowley smiled to him with satisfaction.

“I have”, he repeated slowly, “my ways. Now”

The King of Hell put the tablet in a table that was in front of him… on some kind of supporting object that kept it leveled to Kevin´s eyes. To his horror, he saw him take one of the metal spikes.

“This, young man, is my new favorite toy. I have broken angels with it, you know” he talked with a distracted tone, while he swirled the spike in two of his fingers, looking at it, “It allows me not only to take a spike into the part of your brain that processes pain, causing a torture much more intense that what could be gained through any other means. Skipping the middle man, so to speak. No, it can disassemble your mind. Your identity”

Crowley looked down to him, his face turning into stone, but voice frighteningly soft.

“I know how stubborn you are… and I don’t intend to put up with it. I´m not even gonna offer you a painless surrender, Kevin. I know you. You´ll refuse, fight, trick… But worry not. I assure you, lad. Two more of these beauties inside of your pretty little skull… and you´ll be singing the tablet jingle to me”, and Crowley looked at the other demon.

“Wait, wait!!”

“Begin”

“We need to move”, Dean growled.

“I know”, answered Cas.

“We have to find him”, he protested more strongly.

“I know”, repeated the angel, looking annoyed at him.

“Guys”, whispered Sam urgently.

They shut up, hearing the footsteps. They held their breaths, trying to fuse with the stone wall. The footsteps got close, then steadily far away. They had taken another hallway.

“There is very little that I can do without using my Grace, Dean. And the second I use it, Crowley will sense it. This is, after all, his domain”

“So you can´t look for him?”

“Only passively”

Dean looked at him and scrunched his nose, like asking him what the hell he meant.

“I can listen”, Cas explained with a tired sigh, “But I cannot search”

“Awesome”, grunted the older brother.

“Well, then we move around”, said Sam, “Until Cas… hears something”

Castiel nodded and they started walking. They were in Hell, in a complex maze of stone hallways, dark and must, light by torches here and there.

“Should have been closer to him, dammit”, Dean was muttering under his breath.

“And I shouldn’t have gotten distracted. But Dean, we cannot be on our guard forever. We had no reason to believe he was a target anymore. We both thought he was unnecessarily paranoid and needed to relax”

“Well, we were obviously wrong”

Cas suddenly froze. They had gotten to an intersection, and he looked down… his eyes wide in confusion.

“Cas?”

“Did you hear something? Kevin?”

“Not Kevin”, he answered Sam, “Something else…”

Castiel was tense like a coil, his eyes searching in the middle distance, as if he tried to understand something that he couldn’t grasp. He slightly frowned in… fear, horror, as he rose his head to look to the right path.

“…like?”

“The Angel Tablet”, whispered, and turned a worried face to the brothers, “He has the Angel Tablet” 

“What?”

“How can you know?”

“I can still recognize its… voice”, he said, and started to walk hurriedly.

The brothers followed suit. Cas seemed to be very sure of where they were going.

“How is that frigging possible? Didn’t you wreck it?”

“Yes. Or so I thought…”

They stopped at a sound.

A scream.

From Kevin.

Sam winced while Dean tensed his jaw. Cas turned to them.

“You have to get them back, both. Crowley, he can´t have the tablet, the power he could…”

They heard a sudden sound around the corner, and they turned.

He screamed, screamed while tears flowed from his eyes, as his body jerked against his own will.

“Keep. Reading”

“H-how to lock up Heaven, cast the angels out. It´s… a spell…”

“Yes, yes, the one used by Metratron. Useless now. The only niphilim on Earth was killed, and I´m not in the mood of waiting for another one to be spawned”

Crowley had him reading the tablet diagonally, interested first in what different topics were mentioned.

“Ok, ah… H-here it… it talks about h-how an angel can get like… a lot of power…”

“As if I could use any of that. Next!”

_How to find another tablet._ He read that. Kevin read that and paled. The Demon Tablet was lost… but only for now. Crowley could do damage with the Angel Tablet… but with the Demon one? He would be unstoppable. 

Sam and Dean had to be looking for him. They would be coming. They would save him. He couldn’t give Crowley this power. He…

“I… I can´t, its too much, too much pain…”

“ _Yes_ you can”, Crowley said looming over him, their faces very close, “You know as well as I that the Dynamic Duo and their puppy are coming for you, so don´t you dare stall”

He made a gesture to the demon, and one of the spikes got half an inch deeper, while Kevin felt his throat almost burning from his screams. Then another one got deeper too. He almost sobbed when Crowley took a new spike, the fourth one, and gave it to the demon in charge of the procedure.

“Okay, okay, okay!!”, he caved, closing his eyes, his tears mixing with his sweat and blood. He couldn’t. He really couldn’t resist. It was too much.

But he could jump that part. At least for now. He could buy a little bit of time. 

“Go on lad, I don’t have all day”

“Ah…”, he gasped, “Nature of angels. T-types, their missions…”

“Nothing new. Next.

“Ah…”, he tried to focus his eyes on the tablet, through the pain, “ _H-how to_ … Wait, I don’t…”

“Another inch”

“No, wait!! I really don’t know what it means, just…! It´s not clear, or I can´t make sense of it…!”

“Read it through”

“Ah… _In the wake of the… the act, the first will open the way to the all other angels. The… angels will go down to the ground, and level with the humans_ …”

Crowley got closer, head tilted with interest.

“ _They… will be joined, barely indistinct… Their graces… no longer… no longer their own_ …”

“Well, well”, Crowley said smiling to himself, “Turning angels into humans?”

“I… I don’t know, maybe?”

“But not only that. That´s just taking their Grace, that´s too easy a feat to appear in the Angel Tablet. _All the others_ …”, Crowley repeated.

He smiled to himself… and got closer to Kevin.

“Tell me, Kevin. Is that talking about what I think it is?”

Slowly, almost lovingly, he got to his back, looked over his shoulder towards the tablet. One hand alighted delicately on his shoulder… while the other went to his other side, to take slowly one of the spikes that were already inserted on him.

“I warn you, boy. I´m less delicate than the doctor here”

Kevin shuddered. Crowley got really close, to whisper into his ear.

“Are you telling me that there is a way to turn angels, _all_ the angels… human? At the same time?”

Kevin trembled, closed his eyes as he felt the grasp on the spike get firmer.

“Yes!”, he hissed, flinching, “Y-yes…”

Crowley got up very slowly and walked a few steps. While sweating with horror- Crowley couldn’t get that information, that would be terrible- Kevin saw him smile to himself, considering the implications.

“Start reading that”, he ordered, “The second you stutter, all the spikes come deeper. You understand?”

Then suddenly Crowley´s eyes snapped up and to the left.

“Angelic grace…”, he muttered to himself, “Took you long enough”

Kevin inhaled, his heart racing. They were here! To rescue him.

“Don’t get your hopes up, buddy”, Crowley said looking at him with disdain, “You won´t get to see them”

The King of Hell rose an ominous hand, and suddenly his voice was ringing with power.

“To all of my minions. We appear to have an angelic intruder on aisle 6B. The one that gets me his wings, will get anything they desire granted”

Howls, grunts and voices started to sound all around them, echoing through the tunnels. The Demon King turned to Kevin again.

“Start reading”, and ordered the demon beside him, “Start writing down”.

And he vanished.

Castiel opened his eyes wide when Crowley appeared at the end of the hallway.

“He´s here! Go!! Find him, I´ll buy you time!”, he shouted towards the corner.

And he advanced some steps towards the King of Hell, angel blade appearing at his hand, until he came to a stop with an angry stomp. While doing so, he summoned his Grace to surge from him in a _whoomp_ sound that echoed through the hallways, and made his hair and coat swirl a second in the wind it created.

“Come, Crowley. I´m ready”, he said in a menacing tone.

Crowley made a little smile, hands clasped behind his back, unimpressed at the display.

“Cas, Cas, Cas… Did you really think I didn’t know you´d run here as soon as I got my hands on the little prophet?”

He suddenly moved, throwing what he had hid behind his back. That made the angel flinch and rise his blade against him, but something simply crashed into the ground, to his confusion. Crowley vanished and reappeared at the other end of the aisle and threw another little flask, liquid splashing. He rose his hand, and the fluid suddenly moved, apparently alive; running towards the walls of the aisle, and then running along them, to meet with the fluid coming from the other side.

As Cas understood what was happening but before he could vanish, the King of Hell snapped his fingers.

And from the Holy Oil a huge cage of Holy Fire rose.

Too close to one of the walls, Castiel backpedaled, a grimace to his face. The fire englobed almost the whole hallway, running along the walls, closing a bit before each intersection that ended the aisle; making a ridiculously big fiery room.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t prepare for you?”

The angel got his eyes back on him, frowned and gave him a feisty smile.

“Not that I intended to run away, Crowley. This fight is between you and me”

“Oh, you´re so mistaken, chuckles”

While Castiel´s eyes turned a bit confused, a chorus of howls started to sound in the distance. The angel looked around… a bad feeling creeping onto him

“See, I´m the _King of Hell_ ”, Crowley said, taking two steps towards him, getting to the fire frontier, “You? A little dumb seraph. You are _beneath me_ , darling”

Castiel looked back to him, feeling all his plans going to waste.

“So this is what´s going to happen: instead of staying here exchanging girly kicks with you so you give the boys time to rescue Kev, I am going to leave you here… while every creature I have at my disposal rips you apart. You know, they are very dedicated. Some would say, they would jump through fire for me”

Castiel looked at the fiery walls. Holy Fire worked specifically against angels. It was just normal fire to other creatures… not as lethal or dampening. They could theoretically jump it without more than some minor burns.

Him? He could not cross it, at all. Not only that, his Grace was being severely dampened. He wouldn’t be able to heal himself, nor use it much in the battle. He would tire fast. He was already feeling a little sick.

He swallowed, realizing why Crowley had made the cage so big… How many demons, how many hellhounds could fit inside that and attack him all at once?

“Have fun, Cassie. Put on a good show, there are cameras filming. As much as I´d like to watch it live, well… I got a moose and a squirrel to catch”

And he simply turned around and left, following the path Cas had screamed at just a minute ago.

“Crowley!!”, roared the angel, impotent while seeing him leave.

The demon just smiled to himself, not stopping.

Castiel turned around as he heard snarls and grunts behind him, demons and hellhounds pouring through the corner. Panting in anticipation, blade high, he moved backwards to the end of the aisle, hoping the roaring fire that weakened him more the closer he got to it would also give him some cover. His Grace allowed him to see the first hellhound that jumped through the fire.

In that moment, he knew he was not going to get out of that cage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things to add: I read on the Supernatural wiki that Holy Fire affects demons and demonic creatures quite a lot, but I really needed it not to so this whole thing worked, so let´s just pretend for a second, haha ^^U
> 
> Also, something I feel kinda guilty about xD I think I heard/read somewhere that since brain does not have nerve endings, if you hurt it directly you can´t feel pain. So the bit about "putting a spike through the part of your brain that processes pain for torture" its a bit of an artistic license xD Or maybe Crowley knows but is just making a damn good intimidation!


	2. Purgatory´s cleansing fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam, Dean and Cas try to rescue Kevin from Hell, along with the Angel Tablet (part 2).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not intend to publish again so soon, but I got so happy to see some kudos and bookmarks!! And then I got COMMENTS oh my god :DDD  
> I´m so, so grateful! I really liked to bring this story to life but I didn´t know if anyone would enjoy reading it. I tried to write it for myself but its so great to see someone gave kudos or bookmarked it so they could come back, or to hear words of encouragement ^^ 
> 
> So this chapter is dedicated to Embyr311, my first commenter. THANK YOU!
> 
> Lots of action in this chapter, I hope you guys like it!!!!

Kevin suddenly closed his eyes, startled. But despite the sudden movement, no more pain arose. He felt his face wet. He opened them and blinked in confusion. Some liquid was staining his cheek.

He saw the head of the torture demon rolling to a stop in the ground.

“Guys!”, he said, emotion and hope in his voice.

“Hey Kev”, he heard as Dean entered his field of vision.

They must have entered through a door at his back, got close to the demon silently and killed it without it being the wiser. Not allowing it to use him as hostage. 

“Shit, you all right?”, said Sam, looking at him in horror.

“The hell is that?”, said Dean wrinkling his nose at the sight of the spikes nailed to him.

“Torture device. Get me out!”

“Yeah, yeah”

“I get the thingy, you get to work, man”

“Gotcha”

Sam started to pull out spikes as Kevin screwed his eyes and gritted his teeth. Meanwhile, Dean started to walk around the room, God knew doing what. The kid let out a shaky breath as the first metal bar left him and tinkled against the floor.

“God, I´m so glad you´re here”, he said his voice trembling.

“We are very sorry we couldn´t get here sooner”, Sam was saying, “We can´t face Crowley in his domain _and_ get you out. We needed a plan”

“Where´s Cas?”, said Kevin, wondering what kind of brain damage he was in and desperately longing for a full healing.

“Playing decoy”, said Dean from somewhere behind him, “So we are on a timer here. He can´t face Crowley either. Chop, chop, Sam!”

“This goes into his _brain_ , dumbass. I can´t just yank them off. You focus on your crap”

“Untie me”, said Kevin, “I´ll help along”.

Sam grimaced at him, knowing how icky it would feel to poke his own brain, but nodded.

Crowley vanished and reappeared in the next room. Nothing. Next one. Nothing. He frowned a bit. He had searched several rooms now and it was strange to think those two could have gotten much farther from the starting point in so little time, no matter how long their legs were…

Unless…

He had started from the assumption that when he felt Castiel´s grace, that was exactly the moment they all had arrived. In seconds he had gotten there, and assumed that the boys were in the next corridor and running from their lives as he faced the angel; specially from that pathetic little shout the seraph had given.

But. They could have arrived using other methods. They could have walked away from the angel well before… he had made use of his grace to _lure_ him out.

If that were true, they could be _anywhere_. Even at the torture chamber, that was at exactly the other point of the maze.

The angel was dramatic, but not that much so. That pathetic intimidation attempt, that stomp, that sound that had resonated everywhere… had been to tell the brothers Crowley was already in front of him. Giving them the _all clear_ signal.

They had played him, he realized furiously.

He grunted and vanished one last time. 

When the last spike was out of him Kevin gulped a sob of relief, and got out of the damned chair as fast as his limbs allowed him. He almost tripped in the process, but Sam caught him.

“Easy. Easy…”, he soothed him.

“We need to _go_ ”, grunted Dean.

Kevin´s hand flew to the Angel tablet…

And as soon as he had grabbed it, Crowley reappeared in the room.

“Leaving so soon?”

“Shit!”

Sam yanked him through his clothing. He was more than happy to oblige him, running towards the door, while Dean charged against the King of Hell.

Crowley rose a hand and stopped him in mid-charge. A firm push of the demon´s hand against the air sent him flying against a wall, leaving him sprawling in the ground after the hit.

But then something happened. Crowley snapped his eyes to the mid-distance, as if noticing something. From the ground, Dean rose his eyes to him as he smiled, made a little mocking laugh- _He, he heee_ \- and showed him the spray can that he still held in his right hand.

The fury on Crowley´s eyes as he looked down to the floor, where Dean had been drawing while Kevin was being freed a huge devil´s trap that surrounded the chair and engulfed most of the room, could have melt stone. Especially when he realized that with his push, he had sent Dean out of the trap, and therefore out of his reach.

“Go, go, go!!”, shouted Sam.

Dean threw the spray can and scrambled to his feet, running towards the door, but not before smiling triumphantly in Crowley´s direction.

They boys´s footsteps got even faster as they heard the demon roaring behind them.

“What now?”, Kevin said, clinging to the tablet for dear life.

“We get you to the portal”

“Portal?”

“We created a portal to get to Hell. If we had used Cas´s wings, Crowley would have detected us immediately”; Sam explained.

“And Cas?”  
“He can zap out of here whenever he wants. As soon as he stops feeling the tablet around, he´ll le…”

A sound stopped them in their tracks.

A howl of pain of a gravel voice.

“Cas”, breathed Dean blanching.

Sam and Dean exchanged a look for an instant.

Then Dean started running in the opposite direction.

“Get Kevin to the portal! I´ll help Cas and leave with him, go!!”

“Dean!”, protested Sam.

“You heard the angel, Sammy! Tablet and prophet first!”

Sam clenched his jaw as he saw his brother turn the corner, but grunted and pulled from Kevin to make him run again in the portal´s direction.

Crowley breathed deeply for a second, controlling his rage, and rose his hand again.

“Simmons. Come to the torture room _immediately_. Your King summons you”

He looked around the room. Stupid little monkeys. They had known he would appear there as soon as he realized they had their dirty paws on the price. They had thought this heist through very well. But they were just buying time. As soon as he was freed from the trap, he would be on their heels.

“Also”, he added, voice resonating in the cold stone, “Some intruders have arrived through some kind of transportation method. A portal, a sigil, a magical object. Find it, and destroy it. They must be stopped at all costs. Hellhounds, focus on the angel. Get me those wings. Demons, go get the humans”

To think these _humans_ were arrogant enough to think, to _believe_ they could defeat him in _his domain_ … He closed his eyes and went deep in his mind, deeper than he had in a long time, and said in a low voice:

“Wake up, darling… Daddy wants you to come out and play”

Dean stopped on his tracks as he almost collided against the wall of fire. He rose a hand to protect his eyes from the bright flames, and panting from the run tried to find his friend on the other side.

Cas was fighting tooth and nail.

His angel blade slashed left, right, spewing trails of blood that shone with the light of the reddish flames, two bodies went down. Other two demons attacked him and he dodged one, kicked the other, and then he sunk his blade into mid-air: a whining, doggie sound rose against the roar of fire.

 _Hellhounds_ , he thought.

Remembering the Second Trial, he looked around in his pockets and found his sunglasses, that he put immediately on top of the flames- which were obviously Holy Fire, why else would they be surrounding Cas? He took them out and put them on, hissing in discomfort as they were still too hot. Luckily the flames were bright enough so that he could see a damn thing even with the shades on.

His breath caught.

The fire cage had seemed to have contained around eight demons- now only six alive- but now he could also see the seven hellhounds. It was fucking crowded in there. One of the pooches went to the ground, but as Cas retrieved his blade, another jumped at his back and… chomped on mid-air. The angel threw his head back in a roar of pain, as two huge black wings suddenly flicked in and out of existence, appearing as the hound shook violently his head to tear and rip.

“Cas!”, screamed Dean.

A loud _whoomp_ resounded as some unseen force flung the hound from the angel, against a wall, from where he fell to the flames and screamed as he writhed in pain as the flames consumed him. Cas gritted his teeth for a second, doubling in pain and fatigue, but shot a look up as a demon appeared in front of him, blade already flying down.

His head suddenly flew, rolling onto the ground as the body fell, Dean behind him, a pant leg still on fire.

“Shit, shit, shit!”, he cursed, frantically patting at the flames to extinguish them.

“Dean!”, complained Cas.

A hellhound appeared to the side of the angel and he had to roll to dodge, then got to his feet as soon as he could. Dean charged at a pooch that intended to attack his friend from the back again.

“You need to leave!”, Cas shouted at him while charging at a demon, lounging with his blade to pierce its chest.

“I´ll leave with you!”, roared Dean as he sliced a neck and backpedaled two steps to avoid a hound´s bite.  
“I can´t leave, Dean! I can´t use my Grace in this!”, Castiel looked at him, got behind a demon that was approaching the human and stabbed him in the back. He fell with a thump, “You need to go!”

“And leave you here? Are you insane?”

They kicked and punched, grunted as enemies fell at their feet, too winded to talk, until suddenly some calm got to them.

They looked at each other for an instant, panting; the few enemies left wary of them, a bit far away.

“While Crowley is still trapped, you still have a chance. But any of his minions can break the trap from the outside. The second he´s out, you are all dead, don´t you see?”, the angel said, exasperated.

“Kevin and Sam are probably in the portal already, the tablet´s safe”, groaned Dean.

“What about you?!”

“Did you learn nothing from Purgatory?”, Dean roared towards him, angry. 

Cas looked at him confused for a second.

“I´m not leaving you, Cas”

The angel frowned, anxious, but then they both turned their heads to the other side of the aisle, as more hellhounds jumped the flames. For some reason, no more demons entered. They both started retreating to leave the flames at their backs.

“What sense does it make that you die with me when you can be saved?”, Castiel pleaded, “Get to them. The second they use it, the sigil will disappear. Get to the portal before they…!”

“I´m. Not. Leaving you”, Dean said pointedly.

The angel looked at the hunter, frustration and pleading in his eyes; but Dean didn´t relent an inch. 

“So we find a fucking solution, or we both go down swinging”

_Focus, Sam. Prophet and tablet to the portal, then back to help Dean and Cas. Come on._

Sam´s nerves jittered as he run alongside Kevin through the hallways. He grimaced as he heard Cas howl in the distance. He tried not to think about what would be happening to him. About why, if the situation was too hairy for him, wasn’t he vanishing and reappearing somewhere else, confusing their enemies; as the angel had assured them he could do to convince them to leave him behind as bait. About what was too much to overpower an angel of the lord. About what was his brother running towards. 

As he got to the T-shaped intersection where the portal had opened, he stopped in his tracks… as he saw the sigil on the wall trashed.

How had they known? The whole plan had relied on that the demons would expect them to have arrived with Cas, and to think that he was their only way to make it out. So they would focus on the angel, thinking that by pining him they would have the whole group controlled; because the humans could not leave without him, and the angel _would_ not leave without them. How had they found out about the portal? Not even they had knew it was possible to create it until they had found the sigil!

It really didn’t matter. The six demons that had been scratching the symbol a second ago turned towards them.

“Back, back, go back!”, he told Kevin, pushing him behind him.

He rose his knife in front of them as the demons run to them. 

But… they suddenly slowed their run, then stop.

Sam blinked, a protective arm still pushing Kevin to his back, weapon at the ready. The demons… they had widened their eyes, focusing them on the middle distance, as if listening. Sam observed in absolute confusion as one by one, how they turned their heads to the path that opened to his left; how they adopted horrified expressions, their bodies tensing…

And started running in the opposite direction, ignoring them completely.

“What… the hell…?”, he murmured, frowning in confusion.

They had left them? When Crowley obviously wanted the Angel Tablet back? Why? He looked at the end of the right hallway. Nothing was there…

Until from the corner appeared… something. Slithering. Advancing at a rushed pace. Whatever had made all the demons run for their lives, forgetting their mission. A blood-freezing screech that did _not_ belong to his world traveled through the corridor.

He blanched, eyebrows rising slowly in disbelief.

“What… What is that?”, Kevin whispered at his back.

Sam gulped.

“Run. Run!!”

“Hellhounds. Why did it have to be hellhounds?”, Dean grunted.

He just hated the pooches. Always had hated them, ever since they took him to Hell. The sounds they did made his hair stand on end. Also, it was such a _pain_ to fight them. He could see them with the glasses, but the damned things moved when he charged, when he spun, when someone pushed him. 

Oh. And the fucking beasts kept trying to bite Cas on his wings, causing him obvious extreme pain, and they were _pissing him off_.

“Get the _fuck_ out already!”, he grunted, yanking one of them from Cas´s back and throwing it into the flames by mere brute strength.

The hound squealed pleasantly. The angel grunted as he fell forward, falling on his hands for a second, blade clattering. Both wings looked tattered when they blinked a second into view before disappearing again, although to Dean´s surprise they didn’t seem to bleed.

“What´s up with this wing fetish?”, complained the hunter, taking the blade from the ground and helping the angel up.

“I t-think they are trying to prevent me from leaving”, grunted Cas gritting his teeth, taking his hand.

Dean frowned as he handed the blade back to his friend. After Sam and Kevin used and closed the portal, if Cas´s wings were fucked up; they were not getting out, even if they ever made it out of the Holy Fire.

“First things first”, he said, looking at the hounds left; why the hell weren´t there demons anymore?, “How do we get you out of here? Is there a way you can cross it? Even if it hurts like a bitch?”

“No”, answered the angel, weariness tainting his expression, “It´s a spiritual barrier besides a physical one. Even if one of these demons pushed me against the flames, I´d be stopped cold as if it were a wall”

“Can we turn it off?”

“Not me at least. It will wear off eventually, but I don’t think we can afford that kind of time”

“Come on, think! You have faced this before!”

He saw the angel close his eyes, panting, maybe trying to think. He had probably just been surviving until that point. Maybe the idiot had even thought that the more monsters he killed, and the longer he entertained them; the less he and his brother would face. A death well spent. Stupid little soldier.

He looked so damned exhausted. Shoulders low, panting, bites and slashed on him. How many things had he fought alone until he had come? Dean gritted his teeth in anger. He shouldn´t have left him behind.

“I once used a demon to cross through”, he said opening his eyes again, “I pushed her and used her as a bridge”, Cas looked around, “But the hellhounds combust as soon as they touch the flames. Cause of their fur”

“Ok, we just now need one of those fuckers…”

Right. No more demons were attacking them. Where the hell were they? There were demon corpses on the ground… at the other side of a wall of hellhounds, who had formed a line and were slowly approaching them, like wolves stalking prey. Fuck, they could be on the moon for all the good they would do for them over there. He and Cas took a careful step back. The flames roared behind them.

“Dean!”, he heard.

He snapped his head back to see Kevin and then Sam cross the corner and suddenly stop, eyes and mouth gaping at the wall of fire.

“The hell you doin´ here, Sammy?”, he roared.

“The portal´s busted! We can´t go out that way!”, Sam looked at him pale, panic on his features, “Something´s chasing us, Dean!”

“Something? What do you mean, something?”

“Dean!”

The hunter snapped his head forward at Cas´s warning, and saw the hellhound jumping towards him. He had time to slide quickly to one side, letting the pooch go through the flames. He heard it squeal, Kevin too, and heard the thing trashing behind him until a grunt from Sam and a final moan told him the thing was finished. He couldn’t look back, another jumped to his face roaring and slashing with its claws. He dodged, but got some nice slashes on his face, he grunted. 

“Get behind me”, he heard Sam tell Kevin urgently.

Cas had sliced one throat, but then a hound charged his whole weight onto him and he fell backwards to the floor. The thing attacked viciously his right arm, since it was his right hand that had his blade gripped, and shook his head until he got it out of the way… and into the Holy fire.

Cas _screamed_ , in a way Dean had never heard; and he felt some weird pop in his ears as a low thrumming sound vibrated on his chest; as if along with his voice something else was sounding… he remembered the first time he saw Cas. How that low, powerful freaking _sound_ had almost burst his skull. He was screaming with his true voice, as well as his vessel´s one.

The angel thrashed violently and somehow kicked the hound into the fire, making him release his arm, and he immediately pulled it out of the fire and curled around it in pain, sitting up. His angel blade was nowhere to be seen. Another fucking dog got to him, took him to the ground, and sank his teeth on his neck and shoulders. The angel screamed and tried to get it off, but it was useless. The thing chomped again, latching harder, Cas´s scream was weaker this time, broken.

“Cas!!”

Dean roared, grabbed the thing in front of him and threw it to the wall of flames- Sam could deal with that- and run to his help. He jumped on top of the thing and started stabbing it violently on the side.

“Release!! Him!! Fucker!!”, he roared as he did.

The monster opened his jaws to roar in pain, releasing the angel; and Dean slight his throat. They both fell to the ground in a scramble of paws and limbs.

“Back!!”, he screamed slashing to the things that still approached them, making them jump back a few steps, “Cas! Stand up, man! We are not done here!”

The angel was laying on his back, a profusely bleeding wound where his shoulder met his neck, but his free hand was clutching his hand, as if the rest of the wounds of his body were minor in comparison. He started to get up panting, and Dean clutched him from his clothes and helped him up.

“I-I can´t, Dean…”

“Yes you can, don´t fucking say that”

“Dean”, he said weakly.

The both looked at each other, and Dean´s heart wrenched. Castiel looked awful. He knew his wings were a mess, even though he couldn’t see them now. He was covered in black hellhound and demon blood, but his vessel´s red one stained his whole shoulder, darkening the tan trenchcoat. He had bites and slashes in his torso. He was panting, grimacing in pain. Dean had his own whole collection of injuries, but the pooches had obviously been focusing on Cas.

The worst looking thing… were his eyes. Hooded. Strained. Hopeless. He was exhausted. Dean knew him. And he knew he was on his last legs.

“Thank you, Dean. Thank you”, the angel said, looking sadly up at him, “But I´m not getting out of here. I´m sorry. You have to go”

They heard grumbles as the rest of the hellhounds didn’t give them _a fucking moment_ to rest, closing in; but Cas extended a hand and a _whoomp_ of invisible force pushed them back while they whined. The angel wobbled on his feet, obviously much more tired than a second before; Dean caught him. The angel held onto his arms for a second till he got his balance back, then released him. 

“Go. Please”, he begged, his blue eyes shining.

Dean didn’t want to. They just had to wait. Until a demon arrived. Until they could kill all of the hellhounds that were left- fuck, more had jumped into the freaking cage, how many were they?? He had to get him out. If he just…

Looking at Castiel´s eyes, something dawned at him.

He had been such a fool.

He swallowed, knowing this was not going to be easy. Maybe Cas wouldn’t even let him. But he pressed his lips into a line and, while the angel looked at him confused, grasped him by the flaps of his trenchcoat.

And quickly, before the angel could resist, threw both of them into the fall of flame.

_He_ would be the bridge.

It _hurt_. It hurt like a motherfucker. One thing was jumping over the flames, so that the fire barely licked his pants. Thrusting himself completely into it, back first- now, _that_ was another experience. As soon as the flames touched him he started screaming, but he had prepared for this. He kept his mind focused and, as soon as he hit the floor, dragging Cas above him; he had a leg ready beneath the angel´s chest.

And he propelled him violently to the other side of the flames.

He rolled backwards, got out of the worst of it and started rolling through the floor, trying to put the flames out. He kinda succeded, felt Kevin flapping his little hands nervously over him. When the worst of the pain ended, he was flat on his back, looking up, grunting and with half a dozen parts of his body scorched by flame. The smell of burnt hair, clothes and skin floated around him. He had lost the freaking glasses in the toss and tumble.

So he saw perfectly the black tentacles.

He froze.

Then realized that there must have been a reason for Sam not to jump into the flames with them and help them.

The… thing… he didn’t see where it ended. It came from the corner, but occupied all of the width of the hallway with its black mass, that divided into creepy tentacles. It wasn’t incorporeal darkness, but Dean really couldn’t see if it had scales, hair or just smooth skin.

The tentacles reached for Cas, who had landed close to the thing, but Sam jumped and hacked at them, making them go back. The hunter took the angel by the back of his coat and dragged him back to get him close to the fire. As he did that, the tentacles suddenly went to the hunter instead, writhing around his arms and torso.

“Shit!”, Sam grunted, hacking at them.

“Sammy!”, Dean roared, tried to get up.

His body gave him a stern _no_. His skin felt still on fire, the pain was incapacitating, and he groaned in frustration. He suddenly felt a hand on his arm… And almost fell to the floor in relief. He looked down to see Cas lower his hand and close his eyes, laying his head on the floor.

With renovated energy, Dean got to his feet and lounged at the thing with its long blade, it recoiled a bit. That appeared to give Sam the opportunity to get the angel blade on it, and it screeched and wreathed in pain. Sam was released, and almost tripped back while retreating until Dean caught him. All four stood next to the wall of fire, and for some reason the thing didn’t attack again. As in doubt. 

“What the fuck?”, said Dean.

“I don´t think it likes the flames”, whispered Sam, “Hasn´t attacked us unless we got away from them”

They panted for an instant. Fire at their backs, darkness up front.

“Can we go back into the fire?”, murmured Sam.

“What the fuck do we do with Cas then?”

One tentacle advanced tentatively towards them. Sam quickly slashed at it, and then moments later at the next that dared to approach; as if he was playing some fucked up game of Whack-a-Mole.

“Cas…?”, asked Dean in the still, strange moment.

The angel was half-incorporated on his elbow, looking at the thing in horror; still griping his hand to his chest. He was alive, conscious, and out of the fucking fire cage. They had that much at least.

“Dude”, whispered Dean, “Can you get us out of here?”

“I´d have to heal my wings first”

“ _Then_ _do that_!”

“I´ll try…”, he grunted, and closed his eyes.

_Buy time. We have to buy time_ , Dean thought.

“Kevin, can you do fuckin´ something with that tablet of yours?”

“I-I don´t… think so…”, the young man babbled looking at the thing, “There are rituals, spells; but I´d need ingredients…”

“Awesome”, he grunted.

The heat at his back was unbearable, almost scorching his skin _again_ just by being near. He remembered the burns and noted himself to wear fire-proof clothing the next time they went on a hunt, if there were ever a next time…

He blinked, an idea latching. His clothes. Very flammable.

He started to take his jacket off and, under the confused look of his brother, did a noose on one end of a sleeve. He smirked at Sam, let the noose catch flame, and flailed it towards the darkness monster.

The thing squealed, recoiled, while he laughed in triumph.

“Ha! You don´t like the sacred fire, do you?”, he roared.

He saw with the corner of his eye that Sam was taking his jacket off too. Kevin still grasped at the tablet. Cas had his eyes closed, frowning in concentration.

_Just buy some time. Maybe we can make this thing retreat enough so that we take a hallway. Make a run for it, as long as we can. Get Cas time enough to heal…_

Yes. They were going home.

A snap extinguished the fire. Even the one on their clothes. Everybody froze for a second. 

“Hello, boys”, they heard a thick British accent far behind them.

Kevin squealed, turning to Crowley. Cas´s eyes flew to Crowley. Dean gulped and slowly turned back his head. He felt his brother tensing beside him.

And with the fire gone, the dark thing screeched and launched towards them.

Dean roared, cursed, as the tentacles pinned his arms to his sides, as they choked his neck. He fought violently but there was no use. The tentacles got to Cas, who grimaced; but suddenly closed his eyes again and regained a calmed expression, letting them wrap around him without resistance. He saw how the things got Kevin, Sam; though he made them recoil a bit with the angel blade until his arm was immobilized by a black serpent and he couldn´t move it anymore.

Crowley was out. It was game over.

“Nice try. I´ll give you that”

Dean still struggled and got to see Crowley walking towards them from the other end of the aisle, the fire cage vanished. The glasses were gone, so he couldn´t see the hellhounds, but he could imagine them joining their master as they got to each of them and start following him like obedient doggies.

“But you just don´t have the homefield advantage, kids”, Crowley continued, hands on his back; and ordered, “Squeeze a bit, honey”

The tentacles became iron strong, and Dean could hear all of them grunt while he gasped desperately for air, his pulse pounding on his ears. Crowley smiled wickedly as he got closer.

“Now, now, Kevin. You had been such a _bad boy_ … Trying to steal my tablet?”, he said in an incredulous tone.

He heard Kevin make a frightened sound.

“Do you know…”, he continued, low and menacing now, “what I have planned for you?”

Then someone grabbed Dean´s shoulder.

Dean looked up. Cas, half his face covered by tentacles, was looking at him with a determination and energy he hadn’t had a minute ago.

With a _whoosh_ they were suddenly out of the thing, close to Sam and Kevin. Dean landed right on his ass at the angel´s feet, dizzy as the blood rushed back into his head.

_He´s healed his wings_ , he thought while blinking, _We can get out!_

At his side, Cas wobbled for a second and panted while blinking, killing his joy a bit. Was he too tired for a second trip?

“Come on, Cas!”

“NO!”, he heard Crowley roar.

He looked back at the King of Hell, and desperately patted the floor in search for something, anything…

“Aha!!”, he exclaimed throwing something at Crowley.

“Ack!”, the demon made, covering his head with his arms…

… as the harmless broken sunglasses hit him.

Crowley stood confused for a second, obviously having expected holy water or something similarly menacing, registering what had happened. 

In those confusing instants the tentacles had strengthened their grip on Sam and Kevin, who started to emit suffocated screams; and some had curled up Cas´s arms as he extended them towards the prophet and his brother.

“Keep them apart!”, Crowley ordered.

Dean saw how Crowley rose a hand, some angry sparkling red energy growing into a ball between his fingers, his eyes fixed on the angel´s back. Their only way back. 

Dean scrambled to his feet seeing that Cas´s hands were almost on his targets, but that tendrils of darkness were pushing his chest and arms back.

Crowley rose his hand, ready to throw.

Dean spun and tackled Cas´s back, pushing him to the front.

He hug his torso from behind, covering him.

He closed his eyes, hearing the blast of energy being shot.

And they all fell.

He opened his eyes in confusion. For a second he only saw the back of Cas´s neck and his hairline. His stomach was dancing the hula, between the flying trips and adrenaline. He looked around and he recognized, up above…

…the rail that looked over the War Room in the bunker.

“Holy shit”, he gasped, “We´re home”


	3. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Road So Far:  
> Sam, Dean and Cas manage to rescue Kevin from Hell, where Crowley had taken him so he would restore and decipher the Angel Tablet. During the attempt, Cas is hurt by Holy Fire, and can only escape a cage made of it due to a reckless impulsive action from Dean. When a tentacled monster finally stops them, Cas manages to fly them all back to the bunker. They have recovered Kevin... and the Angel Tablet too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry it took so long to get to the third chapter. My grandma got sick and that of course changed all of my plans. Ive been spending lots of time in the hospital lately- luckily she seems to be recovering!! 
> 
> After this more things will come- studies, a LARP Im organizing- so I dont know how regularly I´ll be able to update. I´ll really try to get to once a week/every two weeks, but I can´t make any promises. I hope you can have some patience with me :) From now on, Im going to put a "The road so far" before every chapter so that people can remember easier what happened last!
> 
> Funny fact- I honestly put that tentacle thing at the end of chapter 2 just because I liked it. However, now I gotta explain where it comes from, lol xD Since Im one of those writers that will edit till the end of time, Ive made a promise to myself for this story: whatever is published here cant be changed. So between that and that no matter how many times Ive envisioned a scene, when I write it the characters just do whatever they want... I´ll just work through it?? Its really exciting, honestly. I have a roadmap of where I want the story to go, but the final product its a surprise to me also when I write it! ^^
> 
> I struggled a lot with this one, I hope you like it!! Thanks for sticking with me so far!! ^^

Dean closed his eyes and just panted, savoring safety for a second, and tried to convince his highly adrenalized body that the danger had passed. He had fallen on his side along with Cas, who he had still been hugging when they popped up. He rolled onto his back, an arm pinned to the floor by the angel´s weight, and the stone felt cool and calming against his sweaty, tired flesh. 

_Shoot_ , that had been a close one.

Everyone around him started moving gingerly, emitting sounds of discomfort. Sam grunted in pain.

“Crap. I think I have something broken…”

“You´re such a baby…”

“Oh, God. Oh, my God…”, mumbled Kevin. 

“It´s fine, Kevin. You´re safe”, grunted Sam through the pain.

“You okay, Kevin?”, asked Dean.

“Y-yeah… I t-think so. B-but holy crap. Holy shit, what was that?”, he said with a note of panic on his voice.

Dean said nothing, and after a second he opened his eyes, surprised that the angel hadn´t provided an answer already. He probably knew.

He suddenly thought of slashes, bites, and broken wings.

A spike of fear on him, Dean half sat up as he took his shoulder and turned the angel towards him.

Castiel had his eyes closed, but blinked them a few times as he felt his body being moved. His blue gaze finally focused on Dean, who was practically surrounding him with his body, his face very near.

“Dean”, he said in a tired sigh from his gravelly voice, “Are you all right?”

Dean made a lopsided smile. The guy was there, wounded and pounded, but he asked first if _he_ was all right.

“Freshly healed, remember? What about you?”

The hunter eyed his wounds for a second; the bitten shoulder, the cuts on his torso, his… Fuck, his freaking hand. The fire had eaten up the fabric of the shirt and trenchcoat all the way up to his elbow; and the skin on his hand and wrist, and part of his lower arm… was twisted. Like a wax candle after several hours of dripping. It alternated between scorched black and angry, bloody red.

Cas closed his eyes and just let his head rest on Dean´s shoulder, his body slumping.

“I´m tired”, murmured.

“Shit, Cas. That hand. You look like crap”

“I´m just… tired”, he insisted weakly, “I need a minute”

He didn´t like how that shoulder was bleeding, or the look of that burn. But Dean figured that as soon as Cas caught his breath, he would heal himself just like always. So he pressed his lips and decided not to worry too much.

“Sure, pal. You earned it. Come on, let´s get you sitting at least”

He took his left arm to pass it above his shoulders and pushed them both from the ground. Cas wobbled a bit, but planted his feet. Dean took him to one of the chairs around the table of the War Room and left him with his head hanging over the back of the chair, eyes closed, panting slightly. Dean patted him two times in his good shoulder- the non-bitten one- before turning to the others.

“Okay, damage control. You two”, he said, turning towards Sam and Kevin.

Sam needed his help to get up, holding his ribcage while wincing.

“Is it one, two ribs broken?”, he asked his brother.

“I don´t know”, Sam groaned.

“Okay, don´t sweat it. Just you know, don´t breath too deeply”

“It´s not my first rodeo, Dean”, grunted Sam, making him smile.

He got him into other of the chairs that surrounded the table, then turned to Kevin.

“Heey”, he smiled at him, his arms opening in welcome, “You´re back!”

“Y-yes…”

“You good?”

“Uh…”, he mumbled, a hand hugging the tablet to his chest, the other rising to touch the poke marks on his forehead.

“You don´t look too bad”, Dean mused, taking him by the chin and having a close look.

“This probably means brain damage, Dean”, he said the little kid nervously.

“Exaggerated pansy…”

“Kevin”

They both turned to the angel. He had opened his eyes and turned his head towards the prophet.

“Come”, he asked.

That made Dean frown. Kevin gulped and quickly got to his feet, walking to Cas. The angel rose his left arm and touched his temple with two fingers. A second after, the wounds on Kevin were gone.

“Oh, God. Thanks, Cas”, he smiled, relieved.

“I´m truly sorry”, the angel said, his gaze contrite, “I was so focused on sensing demons, I did not think of the possibility that Crowley could use humans to abduct you. I failed you”

“We all did”, interjected Sam, “Sorry, Kev”

“It´s… okay”, he mumbled, and looked down for a second, “You came to rescue me. I-I knew you would. That’s all that counts. Although”, he shot a glance at Dean, “I was right! I was not being paranoid, they were _actually_ after me!”

“Yeah, yeah”, Dean conceded with a small smile, “You were right”

Kevin smiled. 

“Sam”, said the angel, turning to the wincing hunter, “Can you get here?”

Dean frowned again. OK, now he was _pissed_.

“Hey, you. Martyr”, he grunted, “How about you heal yourself first, huh?”

“Yeah, Cas”, said Sam in a controlled, slightly pained voice, “It´s not as if these are my first broken bones. You look pretty banged-up”

“Most of my wounds are minor”, he answered.

“They don´t look minor from here”, insisted Dean petulantly.

Castiel glowered at both of them, as annoyed as a teenager would be towards his overprotective mum, and closed his eyes. In the next few moments the wounds of the angel started to disappear, his skin returning to his habitual tanned tone. The stains remained, though; as they had in Dean´s clothes. He was apparently not wasting any Grace on aesthetics while running low. When he was done, he looked at the brothers.

“Happy?”, he sighed.

“Ecstatic”, answered Dean, filled with irony.

“Sam”, insisted Cas.

Sam looked at Dean, insecure. He still didn’t like it. 

The angel closed his eyes with an exasperated sigh, as if he was so, so fed up with them.

“Sam, _please_ come over here so I can heal you and leave to get some rest”, grunted.

Sam traded a look with Dean, who shook his head rolling his eyes, but helped him up to get to the angel. A touch was enough to make Sam take a deep breath, relieved. Cas closed his eyes after that, and if Dean hadn´t known him better, he´d said he was drifting to sleep.

“Okay, enough chit chat for today”, said Dean, letting Sam go now that he could stand easily on his own, “Kev. You are all healed now. You are safe, and this place is warded up its ass. Is there _anything_ ominous and urgent that we should know about?”

Kevin stared at him for a second, confused.

“Aside from the big scary monster… No?”

“You sure?”

“Y-yes”

“Okay, then I declare this slumber party over. I´m taking Cas to a bed and then I´m gonna eat something and _crash_. I´m beat. We can talk in the morning”

“You can use the room you stayed in last time you were in the bunker, Kevin. Let me walk you there”

“Okay…”

Dean took the angel blade that Sam handed to him, put it into one of the pockets of the trenchcoat, and took Castiel´s arm over his shoulders again to get him to his feet. Which this time seemed less willing to help.  
“Come on, Sleeping Beauty, don´t make me princess-carry you”, he grunted.

Cas murmured a grumbled answer, and soon all of them were retreating to the comfort and safety of the bedroom area.

Mission accomplished.

Dean grunted in absolute pleasure as the hot water hit him, and stood under the shower with his eyes closed for a second. When he lowered his head so the water fell onto the back of his neck, he opened his eyes and saw it fall from him stained with black blood, riveting around his feet before going down the drain.

Angel flying sure was fast and handy, but he was so used to unravel after a hunt by driving his Baby for miles and miles, that his nerves took some time to adjust after just _appearing_. He was instantly safe, but not instantly calm. Now, under the hot water, his body started to actually believe the danger had passed.

He ran his hand all the way to his neck, pressed the back of it a bit with a grunt, and started to clean himself. He was exhausted, but he had developed too many years ago the habit of showering first thing when a hunt got bloody. It was the easiest way to work in motel rooms. Anyone is allowed to sink into bed after spending the night on a nest full of vampires, but the blood-stained sheets cause way too many questions and raised brows. Now he had his own place- his own room, for heaven´s sake- but old habits die hard, he guessed.

He scrubbed off what he knew was a mix of demon blood, hellhound blood, his own; and very probably angel blood too, from when he had lifted Cas. Bits of burnt clothing stuck stubbornly at him. By the time he was done, parts of his skin were pink and sensitive, but he felt cleaner than in a long time.

With a towel at his hips, he passed a hand over his mirror to wipe the steam away. He grimaced while tilting his head, seeing how some bruises were already appearing on his neck, shoulders and jaw. Those damn tentacles… But he smiled to himself. He had seen enough hentai to know that a couple of neck bruises were the best possible scenario he could have gotten out with.

He craved his bed with a passion, but his stomach made some angry noises at him when he considered directly plopping down into his memory foam, towel and all. They had been searching for a way to get Kevin back with such desperation that not only a night of sleep had been skipped, but also some meals, badly replaced by bags of chips.

“I´m coming, I´m coming”, he murmured.

So he put on some sweatpants and got out of his room while still pulling a cotton T-shirt through his head.

He was wondering how sick he could get if he ate the days-old leftovers from the fridge- and how worth it could be- when the smell of grilled cheese hit his nostrils, right before a sizzling noise got to him while he was still on the hallway. He was already smiling when he got to the kitchen door.

He found Sammy there, skillet in hand, moving around two sandwiches. Those big, bad ones he made sometimes, filled with a bit of almost everything they had on their pantry, and enough cheese so that the whole thing kinda stuck together. A whole meal between two buns. Not so commonly seen since Sammy had gotten into “healthy food”, but great for after an intense hunt.

Another two sandwiches were already in two plates on the counter. His brother rose his gaze to the door while Dean stood there, and bobbed his head up with half a smile before he started turning the sandwiches around with two spatulas so they wouldn’t become undone during the process. The already melting cheese sizzled against the iron. Sam hadn’t got all bloodied and ashen like him, so he had probably skipped shower and gone to make some dinner for everyone.

Dean walked to him dreamily, thinking of those cartoons that floated towards something delicious just by following the smell. There were three plates. Of course Sammy wouldn´t cook anything for Cas. One was for Sam, another for Kevin.

Those two last ones were for him.

“This”, he said when he got to him, “it´s exactly why I married you”

Sam´s smile widened, and he plopped both sandwiches into the last plate and passed it to him.

“You are welcome”, he said, so petulantly that Dean knew how smug he felt for doing for him that he had liked. The bastard.

“I can clean up”, Dean offered.  
“Ugh. Let´s do that tomorrow”, grunted Sam, turning the kitchen off and dropping the spatulas unceremoniously onto the skillet.

“Wise man”

They both took a sandwich, rose it to each other as a toast, and sank their teeth on it. They emitted twin groans of pleasure. They both were used to fast cooked recipes, but they never got tired of them, and they were _hungry_. Ham, lettuce, turkey, tomato, mustard, mayonnaise, pickles, _cheeeese_. Dreamy.

“How´s Cas?”, said Sam after gulping, resting his hips into the counter.

“Flopped into bed like a kid you carry from the car”, Dean answered through a mouthful, “Dirty but fine. Guess he´s low on mojo. Kev?”

“Jittery but fine too”, he observed Dean as he went to the fridge to grab them two beers, “Clinging to the tablet as if it´s gonna keep him safe from Crowley”

“As if it weren´t the thing that´s actually gonna make him go after him”, grunted Dean taking the beers to the table, Sam following.

Sam grimaced at the comment but accepted the beer after Dean had opened them both. They both clinked and took a long swig, and Sam sighed as Dean devoured his first sandwich mercilessly.

“Dean”

“Mmph?”

“What… was that?”, asked Sam, his gaze lost in the distance with a small frown. 

Dean´s chewing slowed thoughtfully for a couple of seconds, knowing exactly what he meant. That tentacle thing… they had never, _ever_ , found something like that. Or heard about it. Or even read about it. He swallowed.

“No idea, man. But honestly?”, he laughed to himself, “I kinda don´t care right now”

Sam smiled with a huff and resumed eating.

“We got a prophet back today”, continued Dean, stopping for a swig of beer, “With a side dish of tablet, to boot. We didn’t lose an angel in the process. Everyone´s fine. I call that a win, man. I can worry about what kind of hellish pet has Crowley got himself tomorrow”  
“Yeah. Yeah, you are right”

They resumed eating in silence. Dean had already started his second sandwich when Sam finished his own. His little brother frowned at him as he burped, and he gave him his most charming smile.

You know. A normal night.

Sam got up shortly after, mentioning he was going to get the other sandwich to Kevin. Dean finished his beer and took both bottles to the sink before leaving the kitchen towards his room, half a sandwich still to eat on his plate.

As he was munching through the corridors, something nagged on his mind, and he stopped to look over his shoulder.

Then he turned back, his steps leading to Cas´ room.

He knocked lightly twice before pushing the half-open door, which he hadn´t closed when he had left the room before.

He had gotten the angel there almost dragging him, although he had complained if he teased him. After leaving him on the bed, he had stayed there motionless with his eyes closed. But he had answered to him when he had asked if he was all right, with another “I´m just tired”. So he had guessed he was okay.

But still, he was kinda worried, so he poked his head through the door.

“Cas?”

The lampstand he had left on showed him how the angel opened his eyes and hooked his steady blue gaze on him.

“Dean”

The hunter couldn’t help to smile.

“Hey”, he said, entering the room, plate with sandwich still on his hand, “How you doin´?”

“A bit better. Tired”

“Yeah, yeah, I know”

The hunter got into the room and dragged a chair from a little desk so that it was close to the bed and facing it, and plopped into it with wide-spread knees.

“Is everyone alright?”, asked the angel.

“Yep. Eating and sleeping”

“Good”

Castiel was looking at him intently when he frowned, squinted a bit and tilted his head slightly.

“Your neck. You are bruising”, he pointed.

“Don´t you try and heal that”, answered the hunter pointing severely at him, “It´s nothing I can´t handle”

The angel stared at him for some more seconds- nothing Dean was not used to by now- before nodding.

“Huh. You let that one go easier than I thought”, he said raising his eyebrows.

Cas looked down and away.

“If it´s not urgent, I will probably be able to deal with it better in the morning”

_That low on mojo, huh?_ , Dean thought, raising an eyebrow.

It had been a pressing day indeed.

“That was a close one, wasn´t it?”, he said in a conversational tone, resuming his munching.

“Very”, agreed Cas.

“You”, Dean pointed at him with his sandwich, “really saved our bacon today”

The angel gave him a small smile.

“I´m just glad I could help. And that we could get Kevin back”

“Oh yeah”, Dean said with his mouth full, and gulped, “And the Tablet!”

“Oh, yes”, added Castiel intensely, “I can´t believe we had a chance to get it back. I´m so glad we recovered it”

Dean just ate, observing the angel. He seemed suddenly hopeful at the mention of the tablet, a small smile to his lips. He was still laying on the bed, both hands on his chest, one on top of the other. Seemed to have no intention of sitting up.

“So your batteries are low, huh?”

“Mm-hm”, he nodded.

“Is there anything we can do for you? Shall I prepare you some holy water shots or something?”, he asked bobbing his eyebrows.

“No, Dean”, said the angel with half a smile, “All you can do for me is allow me to rest. Keep me in a safe place until I can… recharge”, he squinted as he made an effort to use a euphemism.

Dean nodded. Then he should leave soon, leave him to his prayers or meditation or whatever shit he did to refill.

“Well, you know you can crash here as long as you want, and the warding here is excellent”, he mentioned in a tone of voice reserved for real state vendors commenting on how good water pressure is.

“Thank you”

“Just, let us know if we can do anything to help, ´kay?”

And with a fond smile he moved his knee some inches, enough to hit his elbow in an affectionate bump.

Dean jumped on his seat as Cas hissed in pain, suddenly sitting up, his left hand flying to his elbow and his face contorted in a pained expression, teeth bared and grinding.

The hunter stayed frozen as Cas clasped tightly at his skin for a second, holding his breath. Then he exhaled, forcing his body to relax, his face to turn into a slight pained frown, while he took a controlled breath. He opened his eyes when he exhaled again, but it was obvious the pain hadn´t receded yet.

“What… the hell was that?”, breathed Dean, almost afraid to speak, frown knitted.

The angel pressed his lips in frustration and looked sideways.

“Don´t… touch my arm. It hurts”

Dean looked at him, a huge _what the fuck_ still ringing through his mind. He suddenly realized that as he had not seen Cas use his right hand a lot since they got back, and that a part of his mind had found a little strange that he performed his healings with his left hand, as he always acted right-handed. It had looked a bit forced. While laying down, his left hand had been on top of the right one. As someone would protect a wounded limb. 

He looked at his arm. He could see the healed skin. All up to his elbow, since the fabric of his clothes had burned all the way there. There was that usual, tanned skin; healthy and whole, no wounds visible.

“Why? It´s healed!”

“It´s… not. Not completely”, he grunted, unwillingly.

“Dude, what the hell”, he pointed an open hand to his healthy arm.

Castiel sighed slightly.

“My vessel´s arm is completely healed”, he explained slowly, as if he really didn´t want to be telling that, “The portion of my Grace that inhabitates that part of my vessel… it´s not”

“What?”

“Holy Fire… can damage a Grace. It´s more difficult to heal than a human body. But it´s nothing, just a burn”

Then comprehension dawned upon Dean, and he glowered at the angel.

He had intended to _hide_ it. That’s why getting him to explain was like pulling teeth.

“And you didn´t think of mentioning it?”, he asked angrily.

“I didn´t see a reason why, no”, Cas answered, a firm frowned expression in his face, “None of you can heal it. You can´t do anything to help me. It´s not a severe wound. It won´t spread, it won´t get worse. It just hurts. It will get better in a few days”

Dean pressed his lips, but his anger started to deflate. If it was true that none of them could do anything, maybe mentioning it right as they arrived hadn´t been important.

But then Cas added something that flared his anger right up.

“You all need to eat, sleep, rest. I saw no reason to worry you”

Dean shot daggers at him.

“What are we, kids you need to look after now?”

“I did not say such thing”

“You”, he said in a dangerous tone, “healed all of us, not just before healing your vessel. Also before healing _your Grace_. Dude, your Grace is who you are!”, he exclaimed opening his free arm, “If that´s gone, you´re gone!”

“I know that”, answered Castiel annoyed, “But if I had attempted to heal myself, I would have just exhausted my power. I would have only healed a part of me, and Sam and Kevin would still be hurt. It made no sense”

“And meanwhile what, you hurt?”

“As I said, if I don’t use my Grace for the next days, it won´t get worse. It´s just uncomfortable”

Dean ground his teeth for a second, frowning furiously.

“Well, it seems pretty more permanent than anything I´ve seen thrown at you”, grunted Dean, “Good thing we found a way to get you out of that kind of cage if it happens again. That fire can´t touch you again”

Cas looked at him with murder in his eyes.

“What you did”, he said in a dangerous tone, “was reckless and stupid, and you _won´t_ be doing it again”

“What?”, Dean said incredulously, “You´re mad at me because I saved you?”

“I´m mad because you inflicted horrendous wounds on yourself, Dean”, countered the angel, “If I had been too tired to heal you, you could have died there, at the mercy of our enemies”

“But you healed me”, said Dean angry, “Before healing your _own wings_ , you went and healed me”

“We had a terrible foe and one warrior capable of fighting. I just improved our chances”

“What the hell, man!”, exclaimed Dean.

Castiel looked at him, frown on his face, expression firm. As if he knew deep down that he was right. Dean left the dish on the desk so he couldn´t throw it at the angel´s face.

“Dude, you can try to explain all you want, but the truth is that everything you did tonight, it was us first and you last. Even when it didn’t make sense!”, he gestured with an open hand, “We all needed you wings to get out but you took care of me first”

“You were the one who thought of a way on how to stop that thing. I just doubled the number of fighters on our group”, insisted Castiel stubbornly.

“Well”, said Dean with a fake, tense smile to his lips, “as I see it, the symbol had been trashed and the portal was gone. So getting you out of the fire meant getting all of us a ride back home, the _only one_ we were gonna get. And you kept your wings hurt”

He hadn´t known the sigil had been ruined before jumping into fire with him, but he didn´t have to mention that at that moment. And it hadn´t been on his plans to get barbecued by then, or to stay behind; he totally had thought they could leave flying together. 

Cas frowned, doubt creeping into his gaze.

“That… was not how the plan should have worked”, he muttered, clutching his jaw, as if annoyed.

Dean looked at him… and suddenly his stomach dropped. His face went blank, as a low, burning rage started to bubble inside him.

_I can appear and disappear, confuse them. I will give you enough time to get Kevin and the Tablet back_ , he had said.

_You need to leave._

_What sense does it make that you die with me if you can be saved?_

_Dean. Thank you. But you have to go._

Cas had been _so_ mad when he had seen Dean enter the Holy Fire Cage, instead of leaving.

“Cas”, he said in a measured, dangerous tone.

The angel looked at him.

“Did you”, he said in a slow whisper, “intend to die on the mission today?”

The angel kept his stare. They stared at each other for what it seemed an eternity, as so many times both had. Dean knew him. He knew him too well.

“Cas, what the hell”, he murmured in a dead tone.

The angel looked away with a frustrated sigh.

And in the dead of night, they both stayed silent in the gloomy room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note 1: There have happened some things on the series that differ from what I wrote- like, I recently watched an episode in which Dean goes to have dinner all bloodied and Sam asks him to shower-, but Ive decided to stick to the plans I had when I was on season 9 and all of this fic came into my mind. After all this is my headcannon, and I don't want to change it after every episode I see- still on season 14. Sorry for the changes! Hope you like it anyway ^^
> 
> Note 2: I want this Destiel story to start from a point similar to the TV series, so I love to include those kind of situations where Dean and Cas are definitely having a "moment" in the eyes of a destiel fan but just something normal to a non-destiel shipper, like when Dean turns Cas around to and he´s holding him in his arms, faces so close; or Dean getting protective. I hope you enjoy them too ^^ 
> 
> Note 3: Until now Ive wanted to put ominuous, religious-like titles, but this time I just stuck with "Home". I think its and awesome word, a single sillable that conveys so many feelings. It really resonates, to me, with the scene when Sam and Dean are just having dinner; or one of so many discussions that Dean has with Cas xD


	4. Angelic sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Road So Far: Sam, Dean and Castiel went to Hell to rescue Kevin from Crowley, who had retrieved the Angel Tablet. In their daring escape, they faced an abhorrent being that none of them could identify nor fight; and Castiel ended up pretty banged up and was hurt by Holy Fire, damaging his Grace, which he cannot heal for the moment. After they finally return safely to the bunker, Dean went to check on Cas before going to bed... and discovered as they speak that, apparently, Cas intended to die on the mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit guys!!!! I´ts been a long while since I updated this and I´m sorry- if there´s someone following it, I´m not really sure there is ^^U. The thing is that, I got a super cool idea for a new fanfic, my first Alternative Universe. It swallowed me up and I´m so proud of how the worldbuilding is coming. I have three chapters already, but don´t wanna publish them yet cause I want to include some drawings that are not ready yet :) Follow my user if you wanna be warned when it comes out! The title is Kingdom of Heaven, and its a medieval destiel AU. Cas is a mage and Dean a non-magical hunter :) 
> 
> But I got stuck on that one, I went to reread this one... and realized how much I missed it and how many things I had planned for it! And BOOM suddenly I´ve spent 6 hours writing nonstop and this chapter appeared. Woohoo! I´m super happy! 
> 
> This one is a little bit long, cause I really wanted to wrap up this little part of the story but didn´t want to rush it too much? But I hope you enjoy it ^^ If you wanna make my day, leave me a comment! Thanks to whoever reads this, even if its silently! :D

“Seriously, Cas. What the hell!”, Dean roared after a second of silence, “Did you suddenly decide to enter the enemy grounds with a death wish?”

“It wasn´t like that”, answered Cas, glaring.

“Then how was it!”

The angel closed his eyes for a second, exhaling through his nose with annoyance, obviously frustrated that the conversation had taken that turn. His left hand still lingered on his apparently healthy elbow.

“Death was not my objective… but it was a possible and acceptable result”.

“Since when?!”

“Since we had a prophet to save. A _friend_ , too”, answered Cas intensely, “One I had _already failed_. And later we realized there was a _tablet_ too… Dean, think of the damage Crowley could have done with it”, he inclined his head to him, as if asking him to be reasonable, “It was too important to be… squeamish. I doubted we could fight Crowley on his turf, and be victorious. I knew we would have to take whatever win we could get. So, if any sacrifices needed to be made… they had to be made. And, if a choice must be made between all of us…”

“You decided the sacrifice would be you”, said Dean in a dead, menacing tone.

The angel rose his eyes to meet Dean´s.

“Yes”, he answered squarely.

“Wow. Just like that. Without even talking to us”

“Well, would you have agreed?”

“Of course not!”

“Then I believe I chose the wiser way”

“Dammit, Cas!”, swore Dean, standing up suddenly from the chair, making it squeak against the floor and starting to pace around.

“I won´t apologize for intending to fulfill my duty”, the voice of the angel was rising in anger.

“Your _duty_?”, Dean whirled towards him, “What´s that supposed to mean, man?”

“Protect the Word of God. Protect all of you”

“Dude, we are not fucking children for you to protect! We fight together, for fuck´s sake!”  
“You are human. I am an angel”,

“Oh, _that’s_ rich! And that makes you better than us?!”

“It makes me _expendable_ , Dean!”, Cas roared.

Dean stood looking at him, eyes wide.

“The fuck did you just say?”

“Kevin is a _prophet of the Lord_ , Dean”, Cas explained in a paced tone, as if talking to a small child, “And you, and Sam, are _the Winchesters_. How many times have you saved the world? Do you think it can afford to lose you?”

Dean kept looking at him.

“I´m just an angel. Just another angel, another soldier. I have always been ready to die for a righteous mission, Dean. Nothing has changed”

“Cut”, Dean exhaled, almost panting, “the fucking crap, Cas”

Castiel blinked at him.  
“Excuse me?”

“You”, he pointed at him as his breathing speeded, “are _so damn wrong_. So fucking wrong, and I can´t… And you know what? You are _not_ an angel. Hell no!”

Something changed in Castiel´s look when he heard that. Something snapped inside.

He was… mad. Well, good. He had made him mad, too.

“You haven’t been, for the longest time now, so _cut the crap!_ ”, he bellowed.

For a tiny second, Dean felt a dejá vu. He felt again on that barn, the first time he´d seen Cas. Cause his eyes were stormy, promising mayhem. His annoyance was gone, replaced by a deep fury, and… hurt, he could see too.

Dean scowled, steeling himself- he would not back down 

“I”, started Cas, danger in his voice, “am an _angel of the Lord_ , Dean, and…”

“Like _hell_ you are! You fucking rebelled, man! How long has it been since you followed Heaven´s orders?”, Cas´s blue eyes opened even more, insulted, “No, man, that ain´t you”

“So what am I supposed to be, Dean?”, Cas said with a sneer, anger on his blue eyes.

“One of us, Cas!!”, Dean screamed, “One of fucking us!!”

Castiel blinked at that, confusion clashing his fury. Dean didn´t stop.

“You know how many things we´ve fought with you? The Apocalypse, the Angel War? The freaking leviathans, and Purgatory? Heaven´s fall? You´ve been with us, what, five, six years? I guess that means _shit_ to an angel that has lived, what, millennia?, I don’t even care. But to us, man, that´s _something_. You are one of _my people_ , you stupid little shit. And we´ve lost too many already!”, he bellowed, pointing to the general direction of the door, “We lost mum. We lost dad. And Ellen, and Jo. We lost freaking _Bobby_ , for goddamn´s sake”, his voice broke when he said the name, his eyes shone.

Cas only looked at him, silent, wide-eyed. His fury had slowly evaporated.

“And _you thought_ ”, Dean pointed at him with fury rising again, “you went and thought of going all suicide mission. Not dying on the job- hell, I can get that. I get the mindset of _let´s do all we gotta do to get Kevin back_. But _no_ ”, he looked at him, accusing, “You decided to accept death, first thing. Like, your first fucking option. When we could still find ways to get you out of the fire, to freaking fight back; death was your _first fucking choice._ You stupid soldier with a martyr complex”

He shot daggers at him, eyes shining.

“How dare you”, he said, voice rasping, “How dare you try and do that to me and Sam. You don’t get to decide that, Cas. We´ve lost too many already. You dick”

Cas stared at him, a worried frown to his expression, until he lowered his gaze. His eyes flickered, confused for a second, then looked away.

“I… hadn´t thought of it that way…”

“Of course you fucking hadn´t”, Dean grunted, turned away, gritting his teeth and shutting his eyes for a second.

Then he turned back to the angel, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

“Don´t you _ever_ try and do something like that again”, grunted in a menace that promised pain.

And he whirled on the angel and went to the door in long, stomping strides.

“Dean”, the angel called at his back.

The hunter stopped and turned, a murderous scowl still on his face. Cas was looking at him with a sad frown. Still panting in anger, Dean maintained his gaze.

“I´m sorry”, Cas said squarely.

Some tension left Dean´s shoulders at that, and some fury went off his face.

“… but there´s something that you need to understand”, he continued.

He still glared at Cas, not liking how that sounded. The angel had pleading eyes on him, as if begging him to comprehend.

“The last thing I want to do is to hurt you. Any of you”, he said in a firm, calmed voice, “But you know how things work for us normally. You know we will face these kinds of choices again. It´s always one of us that has to sacrifice for the others”

Dean looked away, wrinkling his nose in anger. It sure was. Shit _always_ happened. 

“And if I can, if I have the _chance_ to help you or your brother”, the angel continued intensely, “Or Kevin, for that matter. I _have_ to do something, Dean. I can´t… sit and do nothing. Can you understand that?”

“I fucking can”, Dean grunted looking up at him, “But you know… Is it so fucking hard that we, I don’t know, talk about it first?”

Cas looked at him with sad eyes and then lowered them to the ground. Dean sighed and walked back to him.

“I mean, man. Sam and me, we´ve done that a bunch of times already. Sacrificing stupidly for one another… But we´ve seen that doesn´t get us anywhere”, he said with a painful wince, “In the Third Trial, we fucking _talked_. And for the first fucking time, it wasn´t one of us dying and the other trying to get him back. Man, you´re supposed to be smarter than both of us”

Cas looked up at him when he got to the bed. Dean stared at him, breathing slower. After his anger had spiked, the wariness of the day was catching up to him again, and he felt so tired.

“Cas… I´m not saying it was your fault, cause it wasn’t, okay? But with the lockdown of Heaven, all you did with Metatron, the same happened. You didn´t _talk_ to us, man. We had no idea what you were up to”

At that, Castiel closed his eyes. His friend was more than aware that that whole deal still caused him pain, but he had to say it.

“And I know that I´m no employee of the year in the Communication Department”, Dean continued, “But… you don’t count on us, man. Sometimes, you just don´t”

“Of course I do”, protested Cas.

“Do you?”, asked Dean tilting his head, “Or are you sometimes so focused on _this is an angel thing_ , or worried about protecting us because we are _mere humans_ that you kinda _don’t_?”

Castiel pressed his lips and looked away, frowning. Dean sighed and sat on the chair, looking earnestly at him for a second.

“I know it was different on the Angel War, okay? You had your army and all that shit, and we weren’t as close. But now we´re in the same team, man. Especially since Heaven has kicked your butt out. I´m not telling you to ask us for permission or that kind of crap. I get that sometimes, one´s gotta do what one´s gotta do. But… can you like, at least, not plan stuff behind our backs? Maybe tell us what you intend to do, if you have the chance?” 

The hunter looked at the angel with pleading eyes for a second. He frowned sadly at him, silent.

“Can you fucking try that?”, Dean said in an annoyed tone, but softly.

“Yes… I can try that”, he answered closing his eyes.

“Well, _thank you_ ”, exclaimed Dean, frowning pissed for a second more.

They both got quiet. The angel sighed, and Dean watched him clasping a hand to his elbow, gathering it tighter against him.

“Are you sure there´s nothing we can do to help you with that?”, Dean said softly, pointing at it with a bob of his head.

Cas looked down at his grasped arm.

“Truly, Dean… the only thing now is resting. My Grace will recover after a while, and will heal itself soon”

Dean exhaled, and both stayed silent for a moment. The hunter felt there was nothing else to say. He was tired, and the whole conversation had taken away whatever appetite was left in him. He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep for eternity.

“Okay. I´m going to bed, then”, he said as he stood up and turned around, “See you in the morning”

“Dean... I´m sorry. It won´t happen again”, he heard at his back.

He stopped on the doorway and looked back. The angel looked at him with pleading eyes. He gave him a small, tired smile.

“T´s okay, Cas. Get some rest”

He turned around, closed his eyes for a second as he shook his head, and closed the door behind him.

“And he fully intended to die trying! The _bastard_!”

Sam pursed his lips in thought as he beat some eggs. They were both engaged in making breakfast, alone in the kitchen of the Men of Letters.

“And that pisses you off”

“Of course it fucking does!”, Dean answered, raising his hands in protest, “As if we didn´t have enough jackasses that wanna whack us, now we are actively helping them?”

“I´m sure it wasn´t that way”, Sam said with half a smile.

"Well, it kinda was", grumbled Dean scowling. 

“And what did you tell him?”

Dean gave a shove to his skillet that was a bit harsher than necessary. Sizzling bacon strips jolted at the movement.

“Me? I told him that we had lost enough of our people, thank you very much, and that if he tried to do something like that again I would _kick his ass_ ”

Sam let out a merry laugh.

“Of course told him how important he was by _shouting_ at him”

“Damn right I shouted. He had it coming”

His little brother shook his head.

“Don´t be so hard on him”, Sam said as he poured the batted eggs into a skillet, “He thought he was doing the right thing. As always. And it´s not as if you or me haven´t done that kind of stupid thing before”

Dean grunted unhappily.

“I get the _sacrificing_ deal”, Dean countered, “In the heat of the moment, everyone chooses whatever they think it's best. And sometimes that means taking a bullet for someone else”, he started flipping bacon on the pan, “But man, bringing a suicide plan from home? That´s just too fucking much. I just don´t get it, man”

“I think… that Cas believes he´s much less important than any of us”, Sam mused.

Dean looked at him.

“You know, he said something like that. Like, _Kevin´s a prophet_ , and _the world cannot lose the Winchesters_ , yadda yadda yadda. And he was just _one more soldier_ ”, he said in a mocking tone, eyes squint and mouth twisted in disdain, moving his hands around sillily.

“There it is”, Sam said pointing up with his spatula before using it to move the eggs around the skillet, “I think it´s not just that he cares and he would sacrifice for us, which he would. I think it… has something to do with being an angel”

“What´s this shit gotta do with being an angel?”

“Think about how they are… well, not raised, but maybe trained. Until very recently, most in Heaven was ready for the Apocalypse, the ultimate confrontation against Hell. Armies are counted in numbers. Every warrior is just one more piece on the board. You´re burning those, Dean”

“Ack!”, Dean made, and quickly took the pan and turned it over so the slightly burned bacon strips fell onto a plate. He´d gotten distracted.

“Make some toast, I´m almost done with these”, Sam said.

“Got it”, he said, moving to the toaster, “So, what? He´s just a number?”

“Exactly. He´s just a soldier, just one more little unimportant piece of the chess game. He´s been told, taught, that he is less important than the big plan, that his sacrifice is worth because he´s serving a higher purpose”

“But he doesn´t have a higher purpose now”, Dean answered, “I mean, he stopped following Heaven´s orders long ago”

“Well, yeah. But he rebelled on the Apocalypse, to try to stop it. And it was us who stopped it. We´ve done some world saving some other times. So… maybe he sees us as something crucial”, Sam put a pinch of salt into what he was cooking, “And as long as he still thinks he´s… I don’t know, less important, well. It wouldn´t surprise me if he did that again”

_I´m expendable, Dean_.

“He won´t”, he murmured, “He promised”

“That´s a good thing”

Dean scowled at his brother, not liking the conversation.

“Consider also”, Sam added, “that he just got kicked out of Heaven, Dean”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning… maybe he needed to feel more like an angel now”

Dean frowned at him, not understanding.

“When he lost his Grace, as soon as he got on his feet again, what´s the first thing he did? Hunting. Later, he got himself right in the middle of the fighting amongst angels. He´s a seraph, a warrior. Maybe fighting _good_ battles is his way of feeling angelic. I can see how he would see dying for saving the world savers, a prophet and the Word of God could count to him as a _good battle_ ” 

He turned green disbelieving eyes at his brother.

“So you mean, he feels his angelic penis is too small and he has to compensate?”

“Jesus Christ, Dean. I mean that an important part of being an angel is _Heaven_ , and now, he´s been cast out. He´s alone”

Dean blinked owlishly as his brother pushed the scrambled eggs into different plates.

“He´s not alone, man”, Dean protested, “He´s got us!"

“Yes, he does. And we love him and will stay by his side. But… we won´t ever understand him completely. We can´t comprehend how he sees life. We don´t even know how he really looks like, Dean”

Dean tensed, suddenly very uncomfortable. He always forgot that the face he knew, he trusted with his life- was of a James Novak that died some time ago. Not really Cas. 

“Heaven, and angels, are important to him. Even when they´ve turned their back on him, he´s wanted to help them. And until now, he was connected through angel radio with hundreds of his siblings, at any time, never alone. Folks that were like him, that thought and acted like him. I guess he had close friends there, people that have known him for millennia or fought beside him or whatever. And they all collectively turned their back on him. They are very dysfunctional, but in a way, they are his family. And he´s lost them. That´s gotta sting”

Dean stayed silent as his brother turned off the stove. He had… he hadn´t thought of that.

“I´m not saying it´s all a bad thing”, Sam continued, turning to him, “God knows… well, I don’t know about God, but _we_ know that most of them were assholes, and he will probably do better without them. But… the change must be hard. So maybe yeah, an angel out of Heaven- maybe he may feel he has to compensate in some way. Or maybe he just, I don´t know. Wants to prove he can be still a warrior of goodness. Or he just… doesn´t wanna lose us too”

Dean stood looking at Sam for a while, a plate with toasts in one hand and another with bacon on the other. He had a frown of worry and disbelief on his face. He felt kind of crappy for not having thought about all of that.

“Dude, I thought you didn´t use your psychic powers anymore”, he joked, coking an eyebrow at him.

Sam chuckled, taking the plates with eggs.

“I don´t truly know, Dean. I´m just rambling, I might be wrong. He´s said that angels don’t feel like we do. Maybe all I´m saying is a bunch of nonsense”

Dean walked with him to the kitchen table shaking his head. He didn´t think he was wrong. He was once again awed at the insight his brother had for some things.

“Why don’t you go get them?”, Sam asked as they left the food on the table, “I´ll get the coffee started”

He knocked, opened the door, and found Castiel with his eyes closed.

“Cas?”, said slightly.

No answer. Dean turned on the light. He didn’t stir.

But Cas didn´t sleep. _Ever_.

He was unconscious. Dead? His heart sped up. Had he gotten worse? Had the injury spread? He got to him with two quick long steps and shook him violently.

“Cas!”

The angel opened his eyes with an exclamation, and looked at him wide-eyed, panting. Dean blinked several times. Then he frowned.

“Were you… sleeping?!”, he asked with an uncomprehending face.

“Y-yeah…”

“Dude! You never sleep!”, he said, as in accusation.

“I… do when I´m in dire need of rest”, the angel answered as he looked around, maybe trying to locate a threat.

“Holy shit, you dumbass. You almost gave me a heart attack”, Dean grunted at him.

“Well, I could say the same to you”, the angel frowned at him.

Dean sighed.

“We´re having breakfast. I know you don´t eat, but we thought you´d like to join us. Unless”, he cocked an eyebrow at him, “you eat now, too”

“I can, but I prefer not to. Everything tastes like molecules”, Castiel said with a grimace, “I will join you, however”

“Cool”

As Cas started to stand up, something caught Dean´s eye. A plate on the desk. He raised his eyebrows as he realized he´d left half of his sandwich there last night. He took the plate, sniffed a second at it, and was immediately getting a bite from it. He turned to Cas with a warning look along the lines of _don´t judge me_. Cas frowned in slight confusion, silent. 

They were soon walking down the hallway. Cas was holding his arm against his torso, but no pain transcended on his face.

“You am betteh?”, said Dean through a mouthful, and pushed the rest of the sandwich into his mouth. 

“A bit. It will take some time”

“Hmmf”

When they got to the kitchen, Kevin was already there, munching on a bacon strip. Dean smiled at him with both cheeks full. 

“Cas”, said Sam amicably, then raised his eyebrows, “Your arm giving you trouble?”

Dean smiled internally at Sam´s discreetness. Castiel looked at Dean for a second, then sighed.

“My… The part of my Grace that inhabits my arm seems to have been damaged by the Holy Fire on yesterday´s battle”, the angel admitted reluctantly, “But worry not, it will heal soon”

“Oh, shoot”, said Sam, a worried look on his face, “Does it hurt? Can we do anything?”

“It does, and you can´t. But it´s okay. Thank you for asking”

Sam frowned as he saw Cas enter the room still clutching his arm.

“Excuse me for a second, I´ll be right back. Start without me!”

Cas frowned, but Dean smiled as his brother left. He knew exactly what Sam was thinking about.

A minute later he came back with an arm sling and offered it to Cas. The angel winced as Sam helped him put it on, but once it was on Castiel looked pleased and positively surprised.

“See? This way, it won´t bump into things”, the hunter explained with a smile, "Is it comfortable like this?" 

“Yes, Sam. Thank you. This will be very helpful”

“Anytime, Cas”, Sam clapped his shoulder and sat to put some food on his plate.

“Okay, Kev”, Dean said with a plate full of bacon and scrambled eggs in front of him, “Storytime. Tell us what happened”

The little prophet sighed, but started telling what Crowley had made to him with that torture device.

“He just… wanted me to read through the tablet, he wanted to see like, all it had, without specifics first. That was good. He just got titles, but not how to do anything”

“Are you sure about that?”, Cas asked, an anxious tone to his voice.

“Totally. Damn, not even me got to read a full one, I swear”

“Good, good, that´s good”, said Dean through a mouthful of bacon.

“Guys… this is awesome”, Sam said, opening his arms in triumph, “For once, we have the advantage. If we decipher what´s on the tablet… We can maybe find another way to close Hell. Another way to defeat Crowley and his like, forever”

Castiel made a small hopeful smile, as Kevin squirmed a bit on his seat.

“Maybe something that will help the angels”, Cas speculated.

“And I´m betting my ass that there´s gotta be a way to find the other tablet with it. I mean, they´re kind like… sisters, right? A spell or something that ties them together”

“In... I saw something like that”, murmured Kevin. 

“See?”, said Dean with a triumphant smile.

“My God. Just think for a second what we could do with both tablets”, Sam smiled.

“Demon bombs!”, exclaimed Dean, “Do you think angel bombs are a thing?”

“I´d prefer not to kill more of my siblings, Dean; much less in mass amounts”

“Yeah, right. But hey, Metatron got super powerful with the tablet. Cas, maybe we can get you a power-up too. Would that help with your damaged Grace?”

“It would”, Cas nodded, “But not only that”, the angel continued, “The tablets are the last direct instructions from God that are left. Maybe he left a message in them. We never read them all the way through, after all”

“What do you mean? What do you expect?”, said Sam with glinting eyes.

“I honestly don´t know, but… maybe a message? Maybe a location of where he is? Or what exactly he wants us to do…”

“We gotta get to it right away...”

“NO!”

They all got silent and looked at Kevin, who had suddenly stood up. He was shaking, and had a look of hatred hooked on them. 

“Kev…?”

“No, no, not this again!”, he cried out in fury.

“Hey, kid”, said Dean holding his hands up, “Calm down…”

“Calm down?! You´re here deciding what you´re gonna do with all the knowledge of the tablets but, _guess what_ \- I have to be the one reading them!”, he yelled at them, “I´m the one who-who has to read them and lose his fucking sanity over it!”

Sam blinked at him, a worried expression to his face.

“And I don’t want to, okay?! I´m done! I´m done with everyone only wanting me to read the tablets for them, I´m done, I won´t! I just got kidnapped and tortured exactly for this _yesterday,_ dammit!!”

The kid stared at them, panting shakily, his eyes shining by unshed tears. Cas looked at him with wide eyes, silent. Dean bit his lips and looked at Sam, who stood up with his hands raised in a peaceful gesture. 

“I´m sorry, Kevin”, he said in a very calm voice, “You´re right. We got ahead of ourselves, and… we didn’t think about what all of this means for you. You… don´t have to read them if you don´t want to. We certainly aren´t making you read them”

Dean shot a glare at Sam. They all knew what kind of leverage the tablets, or even just one tablet, could give them. It was one they couldn’t turn down.

“You… have to know that you can´t leave them behind, Kevin”, said Cas, possibly sharing Dean´s thoughts, “You are a prophet. That´s something that´s gonna stay with you… for the rest of your life. You will find yourself drawn to the tablets. I´m guessing you already are… and that´s the reason you took the tablet with you from Hell”

Kevin shot a teary look at the angel.

“I…! I do! But… I don’t want, to…”

He stopped to breathe shakily, and then he started to pace through the room.

“I can´t do it again, not as I did it last time. I can´t spend all my time hidden reading the fucking stone", he looked up at them with pleading eyes, as if beggin for them to understand, "I´ll lose it, man, I swear. I can´t. And I can´t touch them now, not yet!”

“The knowledge of the tablets is worthless to us if we lose you in the process, Kevin”, said Sam looking pointedly at his brother and the angel for a second, “Last time, it hit you pretty hard. If you ever read the tablets again, when you want… maybe you´ll have to take it slower. Do other things, too. Have a life”

“How?”, he said to Sam in an accusatory tone, “They will never stop looking for me”

“They look for us too”, countered Sam.

“And we still get to travel, and go to bars and meet chicks and watch TV”

“The bunker is guarded”, Sam said, opening his arms, “You could live here. Get some hobbies. Do some exercise, I don’t know. Find your own balance. Or maybe we could get you a place and ward it up real good”

Kevin looked at him, a spark of hope on his eyes.

“Kevin”, Cas said, leaning on the kitchen table, “I… don´t intend to force you to do anything. But this is very, very important. Crowley, he has this… new beast. Maybe we could find in the tablets the way to fight it”

The young kid looked at the angel in distress.

“Or we can find another way”, said Sam, putting a hand on Kevin´s shoulder, “As if we didn’t have enough books in the bunker to look up first”

Castiel kept Sam´s gaze, then looked down.

“Okay, let´s all just… relax for a second”, said Dean with a dismissive wave of his hand, “Yeah, that thing´s there and we will kill it someday soon. But for once, we don´t have a huge doomsday on our hands. Crowley had a plan and we fucked it up. The angels are cozy on Heaven. Maybe we can just all, you know, take a break. It´s been a while since we dedicated some time to old-fashioned hunting. And monsters haven´t waited patiently until we finished our hellish/heavenly disputes. We got some work piled up”

Kevin looked at him with hope.

“Really?”

“Yeah, man”, said Sam patting his shoulder, “You don’t have to start with that. You need to… regain some mental peace. Rest. Read”

“Yep! Consider yourself on prophet vacation”, added Dean.

“Cas? Does that work for you?”, asked Sam.

The angel was looking at the table, a slight frown on his face. But then he exhaled and forced a smile towards Kevin.

“Of course. There´s no rush”, he said with peaceful sad eyes, “The tablet is not going anywhere. Do whatever you need to do, Kevin”

The kid looked at all of them, breathing shakily, and nodded smiling slightly. 

“Thank you”, he said, walking back. 

“If something big and bad comes, we´re gonna need you to put on your big girl pants”, said Dean pointing at him with a fork.

“Y-yeah, of course”, Kevin frowned slightly at that, but nodded.

“Okay. You gonna eat that or do I take it?”

“Don´t touch my bacon, Dean”, Kevin chuckled as he sat down, releasing some tension finally.

“Hey, it´s _my bacon_. I bought it, and it´s in _my house_ ”

“And your house”, added Sam smiling at Kevin, “For as long as you want and need”, he turned to Cas, “Yours too”

Cas smiled, but Dean knew him well enough to see the sadness behind it.

“You really want that Angel tablet decoded, don’t you?”

Cas looked up at Dean, surprised at the out-of-the-blue question. Sam had taken Kevin to his private library, full of fiction and nerdy stuff, to try and find him _a good book_. Dean had stayed behind, with the angel of the gaze lost in the mid-distance.

“What?”

“You kept pressuring the kid”

“I didn´t mean…”, he frowned in regret.

“I know, me neither; we all pushed too hard. It´s okay”

Dean turned away from the sink, where he had taken the dishes, and rested his hips on the counter as he folded his arms.

“What are you looking for, Cas? Is it something for the angels?”

“It´s… not important, Dean”, the angel said in a sad, low voice, “Just leave it alone”

Dean unfolded his arms upon hearing him, frowning; worry tensing on his chest. He thought of all Sam had said, about what Cas must be going through. He saw the angel stand up to leave the kitchen, and he quickly moved forward.

“Cas…”, he looked at him, stopping, “You… know you are not alone, right?”

“What?”, he blinked at him, confused.

“I mean… if you need someone to talk to or something. I know I´m not great with words, but…”

Castiel… stared at him. With that intense blue gaze, tainted with just a bit of sadness.

“I´m… guessing you are going through a lot right now”, he mumbled, feeling clumsy, “But, you know. We´re here”, he hoped it was enough with that.

The angel stared at him for a little while longer… then he smiled softly.

“Thank you, Dean. It really isn’t important. You don´t have to worry”

“Cas. Come on”, he pleaded, getting closer, frowning, “Talk to me, man”

He opened his mouth and closed it again. He looked away, then sat back on one of the chairs of the table.

“I don´t think you will understand”

“Try me”, said Dean defiantly, sitting in front of him.

Cas stood looking at the ground for a long minute, not turning toward him.

“I… do not understand the mission for which my Father created me”, he finally said.

Dean raised his eyebrows, not knowing what to answer to that.

“I know that to you humans this must sound ridiculous. You have your free will. You were created to exert it. But… angels, each of us was created exactly as we are… for something. But… so many things have happened…”

“And you fucked them up”, finished Dean.

“Yes”, Castiel sighed, “I… always have the best intentions, but it never works out. I wonder… if I´m trying to act against my nature. Maybe that’s why it… backfires”

Dean stood in silence for a moment. Cas looked very down about this. Existential crisis. What a fun trip. 

“And you think that the Angel tablet could tell you that?”, he ventured.

Castiel smiled sadly without looking at him.

“It´s not like I can ask God himself. He doesn´t answer to my prayers”

Dean frowned worriedly at him.

“Cas, you know… You don´t need a mission to be… you know. Okay. Good”, the angel looked at him, “Maybe… what you need to do is that. Find out yourself what you wanna do”

“I´ve... tried", he answered, a bit annoyed, "But if it is… why does it keep all... falling apart?”, the angel ended in a whisper.

Dean´s heart wrenched a bit at that. The eyes of the angel were tormented. He hated it. 

“Come on, man. It sometimes worked! You helped us stop the Apocalypse, for one. You stopped Heaven´s War. Yes, you freed the leviathans while you were at it, but we all took them out after that. You saved me and Sam so many times. A lot of humans, too. And you finally got the angels back to Heaven. That´s gotta count, right?”

Castiel´s face still slumped with sadness, but he looked up at him.

“Look… I don’t know exactly what God could want from you, Cas… But you can´t be doing it so wrong if he keeps bringing you back, right? Had you thought of that?"

Castiel blinked at that, and frowned pensively. Dean felt some hope. Maybe he wasn´t doing such a bad job. 

“And I do know something”

Cas looked at him, curious. Dean gulped for a second. He was not good with words.

“I know that you are important. As much as Sam or me. You are not… less important. And… you don´t need the other angels. They turned their backs on you, well that´s _their loss_. All you´ve done since you defied orders, Cas- that´s what´s made you the coolest angel on Earth, or Heaven, or Hell. You´re awesome. Don’t be thinking otherwise”

Cas raised his eyebrows at that, surprised… and smiled. He huffed slightly and looked down, as in slight embarrassment.

“Thank you, Dean”, he said with a shy smile.

“I mean it”

“I know”

“Maybe…”, Dean continued, “If God wanted to tell you what he wants from you, don´t you think he´d… _tell you_? I mean, he´s all-powerful and all, right?”

Cas looked at him, pensive again.

“So… you believe he would want me to… keep trying to figure it out on my own?”

“Maybe? Like all of us filthy humans?”, Dean smiled.

“His proudest creation”, countered Cas, smiling back.

They smiled softly at each other for a second. Dean felt a warm pride knowing he had managed to cheer his friend up a little.

“Thank you, Dean…”, Cas stood up, “I believe… you have given me much to think about”

Dean nodded at him, and Cas put a warm hand on his shoulder before leaving.

“So”, Sam mused after he told him about this, “Cas wants to find his own mission”

“Yep”

“Kevin”, continued pensively, “wants to find balance”

Dean raised his eyebrows to his brother, at his slightly theatrical tone of voice. They were both resting their hips on the table of the War Room.

“And?”, he asked, sensing an _and_ was coming.

“And I”, said Sam with a triumphant smile, “found us a case”

Dean smiled as his brother gave him his smartphone, where a newspaper webpage was open.

“About damn time”, he grunted with an eager smile.


	5. That´s not a fucking djinn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Road So Far: after a risky Hell heist, the Winchesters recover the demon tablet, Castiel was slightly wounded in the process. Kevin starts living in the bunker and Cas decides to also stay until he gets better. While Kevin struggles to find a sane balance in his life between being a teenager and a prophet of the Lord, and Castiel to find a mission that is his own; Sam and Dean drive to Oklahoma for a case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I am back :) I'm still marching at full speed with Kingdom of Heaven, but I have decided I will try to keep uploading this one. I reread it and... damn, I thought it was such trash when I stopped writing; but this time I honestly liked it. Maybe it´s a self-esteem thing? Anywho, I've decided that this one is worthy too, and it also deserves to be born ^^ I can´t keep a clean-cut schedule for both, so this one will still be updated following a bit more the rhythm of inspiration. But I´m not burying it anymore as I intended till now :) 
> 
> I know the title clashes a bit with the previous religious ones, but it was just too damn funny not to use xD

The Impala´s wheels crunched on the dirt of the path that took to the abandoned house. Even though it was dark, the car´s lights were out, and it moved slowly, not to alert anyone that could be inside the neglected wooden building. The deep purr of the engine died down as Dean took the keys out, and both brothers opened their doors with little squeals.

They had decided to stay one more day on the bunker to help Kevin settle down. They had used the unlimited credit card Charlie had made them, that solved their need for more scamming, to buy him a videogame station amongst other things. The kid was still pretty jumpy, and had asked for pills to sleep; but he seemed eager to resume some of the hobbies he had before focusing solely on studying first, then on the prophet deal. Like games and books.

However, the missing persons count had raised dramatically from one day to the next, so getting to Oklahoma had rapidly climbed up on their list of priorities. First it had been four, in the article Sam had come across to. A fifth person had been fortunately found, but the local police had declared her erratic and out of her mind. The next morning, there were already eighteen people missing; in a town that was not big enough for it to not cause a bit of a panic. Something was moving, fast, taking a huge amount of victims on its way… and the hunters wanted to get there before more official attention arrived.

Because they knew it was their kind of deal. According to the articles, the woman in the hospital kept blabbing about her perfect life lost, her long-dead son being with her again, how badly she wanted to go back.

It all screamed djinn.

“I still don´t get how a djinn can consume so many people so fast”, Sam muttered as he opened the trunk, rummaging inside.

“Don´t know, man”, Dean answered, “We know they have families sometimes, remember that chick that hated us for killing its father? Maybe this one has tons of babies. Maybe it´s starting a food chain, for all I know”

“There might be several djinns in there”, Sam said looking up at the house, “Maybe we should have called for some backup”

“Who would you have called? Cas is hurt, and Kevin´s useless. Jody would have helped, but we can´t wait for her to get here- not if we don´t want the victim number to raise up to thirty”

Sam took a little briefcase from the trunk and opened it. It contained a huge amount of shots with djinn antidote- thirty at least. They could not be sure of how many victims would still be alive, being fed upon. Sam took one of the syringes and turned to Dean, who extended his arm.

“Don´t worry, man… mmf”, he grunted a bit as the needle pierced his skin, “After fighting demons and angels, we eat djinns for breakfast. We got this”

“Don’t get too cocky”, Sam warned him, taking the empty syringe back to the briefcase and grabbing another one for him, “Let´s not get killed for overconfidence”

“Yeah, mum”, groaned Dean with a roll of his eyes as his brother grimaced a bit as he injected himself.

Around them, the night was dark and eerie; and chilly enough so that their breaths condensed a bit as they left their bodies. Not a sound came from the building.

“Okay”, said Sam, closing the briefcase, and turned to his brother, “Blades bathed in lamb´s blood?”

“Yeap”, said Dean raising two red-stained machetes.

“Extra lamb blood?”

“Uh-huh”, he patted to a big pocket on his jacket, as Sam did the same with his.

“Djinn antidote”

“Already flowing to be protected, plus that big old suitcase you´re carrying”, he pointed at the briefcase that was already closed and on Sam´s hand.

“Guns, knives?”

“For just in case”, Dean patted on the back of his trousers.

“Okay”, Sam shot another glance at the house, “I guess we´re ready then”

“Alright, Sammy”, Dean said, closing the Impala´s trunk, “Let´s roll”

When they had arrived at the hospital to interrogate the witness, the only victim that had been found, a police officer told them she had killed herself by hanging from the lamp with some cables from the TV during the night, and she had been found way too late. She had, although, mentioned among her gibberish something about a wooden house when they interrogated her. Sam and Dean had been able to go over her testimonies and that, after having placed all the disappearances on a wide extension on a map, had given them the location of what they believed was the djinn´s lair. 

The house was big, an old colonial thing, with a wooden porch with creaking old steps that menaced to give in under their weight. Its windows have been boarded long ago, the wooden planks covered in moss and mold. The years had not been kind on the abandoned structure, and it looked like one of so many haunted houses they had been to in the past.

They slowly opened the creaking door with guns drawn, advancing in careful steps and looking in all directions, up included- too many things had jumped on top of them over the years. The old wood whined a bit under their weight, the floor covered in dust. The windows, framed by tattered curtains that hung down helplessly, had been darkened by old grime; so the light of the full moon that passed through the wooden planks that covered them was weak and left everything in a haze of illuminated and shadowed patches. But it was enough to navigate through. 

They stopped after a few steps on a big hall that led to a staircase on their right, and to a wide room to their left that had a cobweb-covered fireplace at its farthest end. A living room of sorts.

It was full of lumps.

Dean put a hand to Sam´s arm to stop him and made a gesture with his head to point at them. They stood there, breaths held, their eyes still adjusting from the exterior.

They waited for some seconds, then a minute. Nothing moved. Dean got his hand to his jacket without taking his eyes away and drew a small pocket flashlight. He looked at Sam to give him a warning, and after his brother nodded, he turned it on.

They were… people. Slumping on the floor, sitting alongside walls, curled around themselves fetal positions over the old moldy carpet. Most had their eyes open, heavily hooded. Dean tried to make a quick count, he got more than twenty. One was moving his lips, as if he was talking, but made no sound.

“Fuck”, Dean murmured, grimacing, “That ain´t creepy”

The hunter moved the light around, but nothing charged toward them. The djinn must have been somewhere else.

“Dean”, Sam whispered, walking two steps, “I remember some of these faces”

“Yeah, they are the missing folks. Plus some”, Dean answered in kind, “Get antidoting, Sam. We´re getting them outta here. I´ll cover you”

His younger brother put the gun back on his pants and kneeled beside a nearby woman sprawled on the floor, her back on the wall. She had a silly smile on her face. Dean, without lowering his gun, turned the flashlight off so he wouldn’t attract possible unwanted attention. The stealthier they did this, the better.

“I don´t get this, Dean. None of them are being…”

“Milked?”, Dean commented, his eyes never stopping scanning the darkness, “Well, maybe not yet. Maybe this is like, the pantry. They eat one, then come get the next one”

“Don’t worry, you will be fine”, murmured Sam to the victim as the clacking of the briefcase being opened was heard.

Dean kept his breathing paced. He did not know if they would be able to take twenty-plus people out of the house before the fighting started, but he fully intended on trying. He did not like the idea of shooting with a bunch of civilians laying around for the monsters to grab as shields, or that could eat a missing bullet as easy as pie. He knew the monster, or monsters, could be there any minute.

Or maybe the thing was out. Hunting more prey. Maybe they had gotten lucky.

 _Yeah, like that ever happens_ , he thought with sarcasm.

“Dean, she´s not responding. Something´s wrong”

“What?”, he lowered his gaze for a second to his brother.

“The antidote, it´s not waking her up”, Sam had his hands cupping the face and neck of the woman, keeping it straight instead of lolling to one side; she still stared into nothingness. He looked up, “Maybe it´s a fear one, like the one that got to Charlie. It didn´t work on her either”

“Oh God, please no”, groaned Dean looking back up.

Some djinns took you to a paradise world… and some fed on your fear, making real your worst nightmares.

Dean did not want to enter the nightmares of a ton of strangers to get them out.

“Does she have a blue handprint somewhere?”

“Let me check”, Sam answered.

Something moved in the darkness

“Sam!”, Dean whispered an urgent warning.

Sam instantly got to his feet, getting to his weapons as he moved; blade in one hand, pistol on the other. Dean bobbed his head to where he had seen whatever it had been. His eyes scanned the shadows intently, his heart racing. Adrenaline pumped through his veins in a rush.

Something… was on the other side of the living room. Something that the weak and scattered streams of moonlight could not truly illuminate. But… it didn’t seem to be walking.

 _I don´t like this_ , Dean thought, _Too many victims. Antidote doesn´t work. Shit, I don´t like this. Is there any other thing that gets you into your dream world?_

It seemed to be... slithering.

_Fuck… I´m not sure we are up against a djinn._

Dean clicked the flashlight on.

And for a fraction of a second, the brothers saw a huge green reptilian tail that fused to a grey humanoid torso, covered in swirling tattoos. A weirdly feminine but breast-less chest was half-covered by a messed rag of dark hair, that framed a face with shining blue eyes, no nose, and a mouth that opened way too much as she screamed and showed snake-like fangs and a forked tongue.

Dean shot, but the thing moved away with the swiftness of a cobra and hissed aggressively at them.

“Sam, that´s not a djinn, that´s not a fucking djinn!!”, Dean swore, moving backwards.

“I see that!”

They shot, emptying their guns, grateful that all the victims were laying on the floor; but no bullet got to the creature. It rose two freaking sets of arms ending in long-nailed hands on the air in an ominous gesture.

And the people on the floor started moaning.

The brothers jolted, looking all around them.

“Noo…!”

“My baby! My baby!”, screamed a man´s voice.

“Where it is? Where is it?!”

“It was mine, mine, I had it…!”

“Come back, baby, come back…”

They all started looking around… and locking eyes with them. Twenty, twenty-five? A rage in their eyes that was turning murderous by the second. They started raising.

“Oh, shit”, Sam muttered. 

They turned to the door, but the woman Sam had been attending was in the way, as well as a corpulent black man. Dean pointed his gun at them.

“Don´t!!”, Sam shouted, slapping the weapon away, “They are probably being controlled!”

The thing hissed again, and all of the victims charged against them.

The woman entered the room, looking around wildly, her black hair a mess.

“Where are you?? Bring it back!!! It was mine!!!”, she shrieked.

Dean held his breath, looking sideways towards his brother. They were almost in absolute darkness, but he knew him well enough to make out his worried frown as he looked back at him, holding a knife in front of his chest.

“Where are you??!!”

Screaming like a maniac, she run off towards the hallway.

Both hunters let out their breaths in relieved, almost silent sighs. They were both hidden inside a wardrobe, its door gaping an inch or two to be able to look outside, and it was _crowded_ in there. Dean had never been small, and it was a fucking pain to have his shoulders trapped between the wall of the thing and his non-stopping squirming sibling. His giant thing of a brother had to bend his head to one side to fit, and was obviously even more uncomfortable than him. 

“Stop moving!”, he hissed.

“It´s too cramped in here!”

“Then _get the fuck out_ and find another hiding spot!”

Sam jabbed his elbow into his ribs, Dean shoved him sharply with a grunt. Sam bitchfaced and widened his eyes, shooting a look to the outside, as if telling him they would hear. Dean huffed in frustration.

“We gotta do something. We´re sitting ducks here, they´re gonna find us eventually”

“Any suggestions? I really don´t want to kill a bunch of innocent people, Dean”, Sam whispered in a suffering tone, “They weren´t moving until that thing commanded it. They are obviously under their control”

“Then we kill the damn thing. But what the fuck is it?”

“We need to find out”, Sam said determined, and started wiggling.

“ _Dude_ ”, Dean complained when his brother´s knee crashed into his ribs.

“Almost… now”, Sam sighed as his arm was suddenly free.

Dean felt his brother holding something up- he understood it was his phone when he took it to his ear. He shifted a bit to get his face close too and listen.

“Hello, Sam”, they heard a gravelly voice.

“Cas”, Sam said in an urgent whisper, “We need some help”

“What?”, a chair squealed as the angel suddenly got up, his tone immediately worried, “Where are you? What happened?”

“We got fooled, that´s what happened”, Dean answered in a low voice, “It´s not a fucking djinn”

“ _Dean_ ”, the voice of the angel dripped relief, “You´re okay… Are you both alright?”

“Yeah, Cas, we´re fine”, Sam answered, “Apparently… the thing we´re hunting can put people like, under a spell. And it´s set all the victims on us”

“All twenty of them- at least”, snorted Dean. 

“We were able to ditch them, and we´re hiding now. We don´t wanna hurt them, but they sure look like they wanna hurt _us_ ”

“Tell me where you are”, the angel demanded, “I will get there immediately”

“Aren´t you hurt?”, complained Dean.

“ _I don´t care_ ”

“Cas, wait, we… What we need is knowledge, fast”, Sam intervened, “We need to know what we are facing and how to kill it. Can you get to the library?”

A small fluff of wings and the slightest groan followed the question.

“Already here”, his gravel voice seemed a bit strained for a second. 

“Cas, _you´re hurt_!”, Dean grunted, “Don´t fucking fly in vain! Can´t you walk?”

“I thought you were in a hurry of sorts”, he answered in a sassy tone.

Dean looked at Sam as if he wanted to murder Cas. Sammy let out a sigh as he shrugged his shoulders in a gesture of impotence. 

“Okay, hum…”, Sam murmured into the earpiece, “This thing, is like a snake or a serpent of some kind. Half-snake, half-human. Sort of”

“It had blue tattoos, too”, Dean provided, “Like a djinn´s. Thought it was a djinn for a second”

“There´s an ancient… greek myth”, murmured the angel as he moved around, maybe searching for some book, “About a woman with half of her body as a snake´s…”

“That, that´s it!”, whispered Dean.

“Shh!”, made Sam suddenly.

Footsteps approached… and entered the room. They both fell quiet, breathings controlled, eyes wide open.

Two men entered the derelict bedroom: the corpulent black man from earlier at the door, and a bearded giant that looked germanic in some way. They both looked around with bloodshot eyes, teeth bared in murderous expressions. One of them roared and started trashing the bed out of pure rage, gripping the old bedclothes and throwing them. The other one stomped into the adjacent bathroom, and sounds of shattering started.

“Guys?”

“Hurry, Cas…”, whispered Sam. 

“Okay, uh…”, the angel sounded frantic in his search, the sound of pages flipping got to them, “Yes, the Echidna was half beautiful maiden and half fearsome snake who was known to live in ancient Greece. An irresistible flesh-eating monster. It was known as _the maid with glancing eyes_ and apparently, _she bore fierce offspring._ Maybe she was the alpha to what you are facing”

“The killing, Cas”, grunted Dean.

The bearded giant on the bed stopped his motions and whirled his head towards the wardrobe. Dean could not help but inhale sharply, cursing in his head.

“Shit”, murmured Sam in the lowest voice.

“What is it?”, asked the angel.

“Shh”

If that dude warned the others, they would be swarmed, and they would have no other option than to get bloody if they wanted to get out of there alive.

The man seemed to puzzle out that two guys could fit in that piece of furniture, and started marching towards it with a murderous scowl.

Dean licked his lips, adjusting the grip on his knife.

“Silence”, he told his brother under his voice, “You, bathroom”

Sam nodded but grimaced. He knew that would not be easy. 

The man took the doors of the wardrobe and yanked them open.

The second they moved, Dean threw the mother of all punches towards his chin, he felt how his teeth clacked before the guy staggered backwards.

The hunter jumped and tackled him, both fell into the ground with a thump while Sam flew to place himself in the wall beside the bathroom door.

Dean clasped his hands over the mouth and nose of the guy, pinning his arms down to the floor with his knees and keeping his body by sitting on his chest. His legs trashed, and his fists started to hit awkwardly his thighs, but Dean kept pressing.

The thump and the muffled sounds that escaped the fallen man made the black guy rush back into the room, but he was swiftly intercepted by Sam, who immediately trapped him in a neck lock. The younger hunter grunted as the man grabbed his arms and thrashed, trying to scream with his windpipe blocked.

Seconds passed. Grunting, muffled sounds of protest soon turned into dizzy groans, that turned into silence. Dean raised his hands and let the guy breathe, as Sam let the other man drop to the floor. They both checked their pulses and nodded to the other.

“Sam? Dean!”, a muffled voice could be heard.

Dean crawled to the dropped cellphone on the floor and took it to his ear, while Cas kept calling them incessantly.

“Alright, Cas, alright, jeez”

“God…”, he sighed, “What happened?” 

“They found us, we took care of´em”

“Did you kill them?”

“Nah, they´re sleeping. I guess that´s one way we can do this”, he shot a look towards his brother, “Take them one by one, stealthy style, send them to dreamland. Until we can go face queen bee”

“Tell me where you are, I will help you”, Castiel asked in a tone that was half protest, half ominous order.

“How do we kill it, Cas?”

“ _Dean_ ”

“I said _how do we kill it_ ”, he repeated curtly.

Silence. He could picture Castiel scowling at him in the distance. Sam walked to him and asked for the phone with a gesture. Dean huffed out in exasperation as he gave it to him and went to the door, to watch that no one got close. 

“Listen, Cas, I know you want to help… But this thing can turn people against us. The last thing we need, aside from a bunch of civilians, is having to fight an Angel of the Lord. One we really, _really_ don´t want to harm, and who is already hurt. She could make you burn your Grace out, as you are, make you worse. And even in bad shape, you can hurt us a lot too”

Dean, scouting out the hallway, could not hear if Cas responded. But he guessed that hadn´t made him very happy- cause he had to admit it was fucking true.

“I know”, his brother said, “We will. I promise…”

Silence followed that, so Dean turned to look to his brother. Sam was frowning.

“What?”, he mouthed.

“Cas says he´s not sure about the killing”, he provided, “That the abilities we mention do not match the Echidna´s feeding habits- wait a second, Cas. Thinks it could be a breed between an Echidna and a djinn”

“What?”, Dean complained indignantly, “Creeps can _breed_ and combine powers now?”

“Apparently so”, Sam said, then his eyes turned to one side as he listened to the phone, and briefly chuckled with a small smile to something Cas had said.

“What?”, asked Dean.

“Nothing”, said Sam, still smirking, his attention away from his brother, “Okay. You think that will work…? Well, guess there´s just one way to find out... Yeah, yeah, we will… Okay. Don´t worry, Cas, we got this… Yeah. ´kay, call you soon”

Sam hung up and walked towards Dean, placing himself on the wall beside the door.

“So?”, Dean asked.

“Says to combine everything. The Echidna from the myth goth her head was severed, so… we cut her head with a blade bathed in lamb´s blood”

The older hunter made a wide grin at that.

“One can never go wrong with head cutting. Old classics never die”

“Guess so”, Sam risked a peek over Dean to look towards the hallway, “And now?”

“We take down the puppets one by one”

“Think we can swing that?”

“Please”, groaned Dean, “They´re _humans_. Blind with rage and without combat training of any kind, most probably. As long as they don´t swarm us, we´re good. And there´s plenty of places to hide in a house like this”

Sam pursed his lips as he raised his head and nodded, admitting they would probably have the upper hand in this.

“Okay. Then…”

Dean made a huge stomp on the floor. Someone let out an exclamation and came running towards them.

“It´s showtime”, Dean grinned an eager grin.

Dean had to admit, it was easy to feel overconfident sometimes in his job. They had spent way too many years hacking on what went bump in the night, to a point that a nest of vampires just felt like small potatoes. Especially after all the Heaven/Hell/Purgatory clusterfucks they had come up on top of.

And even more when they were facing mere humans.

Yes; the not killing, not permanently harming, and no noise house rules _did_ complicate things a bit. It came with a side dish of waiting eternities in the dark, hiding around the stupid place until some poor bastard passed; and it was earning them a ton of avoidable punches and kicks. But it felt like an interesting challenge, at the most. At the end of the day, those people didn´t see in the dark, their punches didn´t send them flying towards the walls, and none of them could turn their entrails into goo just by looking at them funny. It was a nice change. 

Dean was even having fun.

But his stupid brother had, _again_ , been fucking right. As difficult to avoid as it were, overconfidence was not a good hunting buddy.

He was struggling with a scrawny kid, probably in his twenties, blocking his windpipe in a headlock as he saw his brother duke a guy on the face so sharply that he tumbled down. They were on the second floor, in the hallways that led to different rooms. The space opened down into the living room, wooden railing surrounding the hallways. Sam looked at him as if asking if he needed help, he shook his head as the kid´s trashing became erratic and halted, and soon he let him slide to the floor. All silent, all perfect.

He was standing up to mouth in his brother´s direction that left only fifteen of them when he found two glowing eyes on his face.

He yelped and jumped back, staggering and almost falling on his ass, but the movement avoided a slashing claw in the very air he had been occupying less than a second ago. Dean´s hand flew to his reddened machete, but before he could draw it, a whipping sound accompanied a savage blow to his face that sent him to the floor. He registered a bit too late that it had been that fucking tail.

He raised his head with a grunt to see the thing hissing madly, hands in the air.

And enraged screams flowed from every corner of the house. At least four people ran out of rooms in their hallway, and two more started marching up the staircase.

“Dean!”

“Run, Sammy!”, he said as he gained his feet, running towards his brother.

A gal jumped at Dean outta nowhere, bursting from a room, and he instinctively ducked her in the face. She staggered forward, dazed, and he realized in horror that she was one bad step from falling over the railing. He grabbed her waist and rolled with her to leave her on the ground, but he heard then someone ducked him in the back of the head, and he went down with her.

“Ugh…!”, he groaned.

He felt a kick to his stomach, heard hissing _too damn close_ , but dizziness made him unable to move for a second.

He heard his brother roar and charge, right by his side, fighting ruckus as he shook his head and got to his hands and knees. He looked back to see the monster slithering towards them. They could not fight it safely with so many people around. His brother pushed someone back and grabbed his arm to help him up.

“Move, Sammy, move!!”

His brother staggered back as he pushed him away, Dean looked up.

To see that the monster was falling over him.

What happened next, he owed it all to his reflexes. Before he realized what had happened he was hanging from one hand from the railing, having jumped over it to avoid the attack, the thing falling heavily on the hallway beside the fallen girl. He let go, landing with a grunt.

“Sammy!!”, he screamed looking up.

His stupid shithead of a brother had taken out his machete.

“Don´t you face it alone!! You have civilians there, you asshat!!”, he roared.

Sam pressed his lips, looking around. A girl charged towards him and he dodged her easily, then flew down the stairs; a bunch of people and a monster on his heels. 

_Attaboy_ , thought Dean, taking a step to go back up the stairs himself.

And then a beautiful punch drove him to the wall. That´s how he discovered there were people downstairs, too.

Seconds passed, there was confusion, shouting, hissing; and suddenly every lasting victim was swarming them in the entrance hallway as the slithering creeper came down the steps. Dean was like three feet away from Sam, who was at the end of the stairs, and each of them had their own share of sick people at them.

Even though… Dean felt they weren’t exactly attacking anymore. They grabbed his clothes, tried to immobilize him. Of course, he wouldn´t oblige.

He roared and attacked forward, a guy fell down but someone grabbed his throat from behind, he thrashed. Then he screamed, more in surprise than in pain. Something had bitten onto his calf, and when he shook his leg violently he saw something black and small fly away across the room. Panting, he tried to see what it had been, but it had vanished into the shadows.

“Sammy, there´s something on the floor!”, he warned in a grunt.

“What?”

“Don´t know, but it bites!”

He grabbed whoever was at his back and with a roar made them roll over his back and slammed them to the floor. Whoops, sorry, motherly type. He could not afford to play nice anymore.

Suddenly, a slithering sensation coursing up his leg. He patted at it instantly, and punched a guy on the face, sending him senseless to the floor. But another thing crawled over him, and another one on his other calf; he got bitten again at his hip. He grunted, backpedaling, cursing and brushing the things off; dodging another gal. One of the _things_ latched onto his hand as he tried to pat it away. He let out an angry shout as he violently whipped his arm in front of him.

He could dimly see a… small snake, black, fangs digging stubbornly into the outer meat of his right hand. Until he punched a wall, that is. He felt the crack of its skull before the thing fell lolling to the ground.

He looked up, feeling observed. The monster was looking over them from the middle of the stairs… and a ray of moonlight let him see how black things seemed to slither out of its dark wild mane.

“It´s snakes!”, he shouted, “It´s birthing them or something!”

He retreated, putting distance between him and the monster. The image got unfocused for a second. Panting, he blinked several times, trying to steady his gaze.

For a second, he didn´t know where he was. He blinked again, remembering the abandoned house and the case.

He was dimly aware that the few people left around him had turned away, going towards his brother. He grunted and made a step towards him to help him.

He was suddenly at his childhood home. The stairs, the front door, he knew them well. The hallway he was standing at, it had been the one where he had learned to walk...

Then it was gone. Dean blinked, eyes flooded with confusion, and looked around.

_What the…?_

“Dean!”, he heard Sam shouting.

“Don´t let them bite you, Sammy!!”, he roared, “Don´t…!”

He fell silent when he saw… the stripper to his left, clad in red leather, smirking at him. He frowned, not understanding, eyes wide.

His nose was filled with the smell of homemade burgers.

His tongue burned with the taste of the best scotch he´d ever had, once at Bobby´s.

He grunted and shook his head, his eyes roaming the darkness of the abandoned house. His brother had been cornered, he was surrounded. Dean gritted his teeth and wobbly walked one, two steps, three; he got to one of the raged victims and turned it towards him to punch it in the face.

But as he whirled, he saw it was his father.

Fist held high, Dean froze. John Winchester gazed up at him, serious… and then made that slight smile. The rare one, the one he made when Dean had done something good. When he had made him proud.

He staggered back two steps, flabbergasted. Nothing made sense. He looked around wildly, trying to find something for his mind to latch on to.

He heard his mother´s laughter- a sound he hadn´t heard since he was four, and that he had really thought he had forgotten.

He felt the creak of the Impala´s leather wheel on his palms.

He sensed the hug on his ribs of the first monster victim he ever saved. Her name was Vicky. She had been taken by vampires. She was twelve. She´d been unharmed.

“Dean!”, he heard his brother scream, “What´s wrong?”

_Sammy…_ , he thought, his brain swimming in molten lead.

He had to get to his brother. He needed him. He was his responsibility.

But as he tried to walk forward, the world tilted, and suddenly his hands were holding up the floor. Or he was holding himself on his knees. He wasn´t sure.

“ _Dean!!_ ”, he heard Sammy shout, worry straining his voice.

He gasped, panting, he couldn’t breathe. It was an effort to inhale and exhale.

Air in. His brother was laughing with him in his car.

Air out. Bobby was calling him an _idjit_ with a fond smile.

Air in. Cas was gazing at him, too long, too intently, as he so many times did.

Air out. His father clapped his shoulder telling him he´d done a _good job today_.

He closed his eyes, trying to stop the flood of sensations, but it did him no good. He breathed in the fresh air of the land around Sonny´s Home for Boys. A shiver of horror ran down his spine as memories from Hell flashed through his mind like a lightning bolt. Terror froze his bones as he felt utterly alone in the world, abandoned, discarded. He felt on his lips the taste of his first kiss. He smelled the stinging stench of burned meat, undoubtedly coming from a hunter´s pyre. He felt on his face the roaring flames that had burned his childhood home. He heard Sammy screaming for Jess as the same flames consumed his apartment.

He groaned painfully, gritting his teeth, his senses and mind overflown. A too-sweet drink he swore he´d never try, the pain of the death of yet another one he had failed, his fierce love and pride towards his brother, the absolute horror of seeing him fall limply and fatally wounded to the ground.

The roar of Baby´s engine, a flash of lust fused with shame, tears down his face, puke on his mouth, his look of disappointment. Uncontrollable anger, Ellen and Jo, the open road, self-hatred, crushing guilt, pink satin, Charlie´s smile.

Porn, pie, fear, joy, Cas, Sam, Hell, sex, pain, death…

… and darkness.

He made no sound as he slipped inside the house. Soft noises directed his attention to the kitchen. He gathered all of his hunting skills to be absolutely silent as he prowled in that direction.

His back to the wall, he risked a look. His victim was washing something in the sink… Perfect. He had a clear route of entry, and an objective with his back to him.

He crouched in a low guard and advanced. Slow, careful. He was eager, but this was a time for patience. In five, six steps he reached his objective…

… and his hands flew towards as claws to tickle her sides.

The woman let out a scream as kitchenware clanged and water splashed. Dean charged forward to clasp on her wrist, where she had instinctively grabbed a long knife.

“Easy there, tigress”, he purred in her ear, smiling from ear to ear.

A gasp, the clanging of the knife as she dropped it, and her wide eyes as she whirled towards him.

“Dean!!!”

He chuckled, delighted as she threw her arms around him.

“What…?”, she babbled as she took a step back and looked at him, “I thought you were in a hunt in Oklahoma!”

“I was, and I wrapped that up ASAP. Come on”, Dean gave her a cocky smile, “You think I´d miss a day like today?”

“Oh, Dean…”, she hugged him again and stayed in his arms, face to his shoulder.

Joy permeating every cell of his body, Dean hugged her; one hand on her back, the other fondly on her head.

“Happy birthday, mum”, he murmured kissing her hair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of the fighting scenes? I´m really sorry, I´m not a fighter and I don't know how realistic that was- and I really ignore how many ways someone can safely choke another into unconsciousness xDDD
> 
> If someone is wondering what Cas said that made Sam laugh, its "Everything can breed, and wants to. Of all people, you would think he would know by now" xD
> 
> This scene. The fucking scene, the one that´s coming- it´s one of those scenes that I as a writer have relived in my head *so many damn times* cause I love it so much. And finally, FINALLY it´s time to write it down and make it real!!!!!!
> 
> Be ready for my version of Dean´s dreamworld :))))) Or rather... the version of the Echidjinn ladysnake xD


	6. Sweet dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Road So Far: Sam and Dean go fight a monster that can send people into their dream worlds, apparently the spawn of an Echidna and a djinn. During the battle, Dean gets bitten by some little black snakes the Echidna creates... and his reality shifts, his mind dragged into a fantasy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is barely edited, I might have to come back in the future to do some changes; but I sincerely dont have the energy to review it now. I'm low key surprised I got enough to post xD Episode 20 broke me and writing has become something really really hard. Idk how often Ill update. I guess comments could help but i don't know. Life sucks lately a lot xD 
> 
> A bit of a long episode, but there were so many things to tell. Welcome to Dean´s perfect day (at least my interpretation of it). The writing here is much simpler cause, well, Dean´s not a complicated storyteller. 
> 
> Smallest warning: there is some talk about gender and sex. I really hope I didn't fuck up, I'm not an expert on the issue (though I did ask some nonbi and trans friends to help) and Dean´s gotta be a little bit ignorant, and this is all told from his point of view. So... hope it´s fine like that.
> 
> Music I wrote this chapter to- and that you can listen to as you read: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsrIZ1mnOvU&t=355s

Cheerful sunshine entered the white-tiled kitchen through the glass doors and the big picture windows. The room faced the backyard, and it received gladly every ounce of light the exterior would offer. Outside, Dean could see the big extension of grass where he had learned to play catch with his dad, as well as throwing knives; surrounded by trees and bushes, a high wooden fence delimiting the whole space. Mountains in the distance. Clear skies.

Dean´s eyes got lost in the garden for a second, a million memories making him smile to himself. He remembered his first kiss, under that tree. The year his dad and he tried to build a treehouse for Sammy, failing horrendously, but having such a great time together. All those lazy summer afternoons chasing after his little brother, who just kept growing more and more every year, until he wasn´t so little…

“Oh, Dean, your father is going to be _so_ thrilled to see you”, his mum was telling him, “He just went outside for something, I don´t know what…”

“I´m sure he´ll be back in a sec”, he turned to her, “So, I know that the official celebration is not today…”

Since both he and his brother had said they couldn’t make it that weekend… 

“… but I thought that, since I could finally show up, we could have a little something today if you don´t mind?”, Dean smiled at her.

“Absolutely, honey. We can all have lunch. Or would you prefer to spend some alone time with your mum?”, she looked at him with loving eyes.

Dean felt radiant with joy. His mother didn´t have to tell him how happy she was to see him, how much she´d missed him- and he had only been away for like two weeks. Full-on with the hunting business, he was usually crashing everywhere he was allowed to- at Sam´s, at the Roadhouse, at Bobby´s, or at his parent´s house. He felt no shame from being at his childhood home so often. His parents always made him feel welcome, although his dad was less prone to displays of affection than his mother.

He knew he had made her day, surprising her like that. The smile on her face illuminated the whole room. His heart was about to explode.

And things were only beginning.

“How about I take you for lunch to somewhere nice?”, he suggested.

“Uuh. Aren´t I a bit too old for dates?”

“You? Never”, he dazzled her with his most charming smile.

“So we leave your father stranded here at the house?”, she said arching an eyebrow, as if she were actually considering it.

“Nyeh... I guess we can let the old man join…”, grunted Dean.

“Good man”

“… if he begs…”, he added.

“ _Dean_ ”, she chided jokingly.

He couldn’t take it anymore. Without any kind of warning, he got his arm from behind his back, holding a little jewelry box.

“What…?”, his mum mumbled.

“Come on, what´s a birthday without presents?”

“Dean! You didn´t have to! I´m sure you were so busy with the hunt”, she said humbled as she took it, “When did you even…?”

“We make time for what´s important”, he replied.

She looked at him fondly, in an _oh, you_ kind of way, and she opened the little box.

“Oh, Dean. They are so beautiful”, she murmured.

“Wanna give them a try?”

A few seconds later, the pair of earrings shone on her ears, their green radiance lighting her eyes.

“Let me go find a mirror”, she said as she started to walk out of the kitchen.

“Oh, hey”, Dean caught her by the wrist with wide eyes, “I just got an idea. Why don´t you put on that green dress you have? I´m sure it will look awesome with those. Can you do that for me?”, he gave her his sweetest smile.

She seemed to melt under his gaze.

“Sure, honey. I will be right back”

“Great, go get yourself all pretty!”, he smiled at her.

She gave him a joking, warning look.

“Pretti- _er_! You know what I mean!”, he complained, raising his hands in a peaceful gesture.

Mary Winchester let out a laugh and bounced up the stairs… as Dean grinned wickedly to himself.

 _Part one complete_ , he thought.

He quickly took out his phone and clicked the first number on his speed dial.

“She´s upstairs, it´s go time…! What do you mean where?, here!”, he said into the speaker. Then he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Yeah, it would be _come_ _time_ … Just, bring the stuff already!”

He swiftly hung up and typed as fast as he could: _Bird´s on the nest._ Send.

 _Initiating part two: stalling_ , he thought, unable to stop grinning to himself like an idiot.

He waited at the end of the stairs with his foot tapping impatiently. Anticipation rolled in his chest and made his guts all giddy. It was _happening_. Finally, after all the preparations, the calls, the obstacles… The past weeks had been a blur of incessant activity- without a real stop in hunting, on top of all of that. But now, all that was left to do… was wait. Any minute now. His eyes eagerly searched the top of the stairs, expecting to see his mother appear.

And no long after, she did. His face broke into a wide smile as he saw that yes, he had been correct about the color: those earrings went perfectly with her favorite dress. She came down the steps smiling at him, a bit embarrassed, and even more so when he took her hand and made her twirl around.

“Oh, please”, she groaned, mortified.

“You look stunning”, he declared.

“I´m no ceramic doll, you know?”

“As you well have proved dozens of times”, he nodded, “But damn, you certainly can look like one when you want”

“So, where are we going?”, she asked excitedly.

 _Where the hell is he…_ , he thought as he tried to maintain his smile. 

“I... don´t know, is there somewhere near you´d like to try?”, he tried to continue the charade with a calm expression.

His mother, always the mind reader when her children were concerned, tilted his head with a small frown upon inspecting his face.

“What is it…?”, she simply said in a pressing tone.

“Nothing”, he tried to say nonchalantly. 

“Dean Michael Winchester”, she said sternly but smiling, putting her hands on her hips, “What mischief have you planned this time?”

“Nothing!”, he complained, maybe his voice a little too high? Dammit, he was too nervous.

A rattle of keys- that sounded to Dean like the bells of salvation- made them both look back.

“Who…?”, his mother started to ask.

The front door cracked open, and a guy with moping hair entered looking around as if he intended to rob the place. As he found them in the hallway, his eyebrows shot up, right before his face broke into a huge grin.

“Hey! Surprise!!”

“Oh! Sam!!!”

His mother run to throw his arms around his neck, and his gigantic sibling took her and even lifted her up a bit from the floor as he hugged her back.

“´Bout time, you idiot”, Dean grunted, half a smile on his face.

“I had to send a final email before entering, jerk”

“Bitch”

“ _Boys_ ”, their mother chided as she retreated from Sam and sternly looked at them.

Both lowered their eyes for a second, considering themselves mildly scolded for insulting each other- again. Then Dean smiled up at his brother and walked two steps towards him.

“Come here, you big asshat”

They both hug and slapped their backs. As they did, Sam whispered into his ear:

“It´s done”

Dean´s eyebrows shot up. Holy Jesus, that was _fast_. But not for nothing he had chosen the best guy to do it, he thought to himself as he smiled wickedly.

“You two”, Mary said, hands on her hips, “You said you couldn´t make it this weekend. You set me up!”

_Oh, you´ve got no idea_ , Dean couldn’t help but think.

“I don’t have the slightest clue of what you´re talking about, mum”, Sam said with faked innocence, a dramatic hand to his chest, “I was simply driving by and I remembered it was your birthday, and I thought about stopping to say hi”

“You live an hour from here, Sam”

“I had an errand. Funny to find Dean here”, he said looking towards his brother in feign surprise.

“Such a coincidence”, nodded Dean wisely.

“You two”, she deadpanned, “are pathetic liars”

“We can´t ever lie to you, so why try to find a decent excuse”, Dean stated in a grunt.

Her mother laughed.

“So yeah, Dean, Jess and I thought we could have lunch with you and dad, is that so bad?”, Sam smiled.

“Jess is here too?”, her mother asked, marveled.

“Yeah. She´s round the back, she wanted to get something from the garden, a rose or something like that for you”

“Oh. We should go to her”, Dean stated.

“Absolutely”, Sam agreed.

Their mother looked at them and sighed as she smiled and shook her head. She knew they were up to something… But she apparently decided to surrender, since she followed them back towards the kitchen.

Both brothers made sure to walk in front of her, shoulder to shoulder, obscuring her view until they reached the garden access. Then they looked at each other with stupid giddy expressions, each took one of the doors and they opened them suddenly.

Their mother gasped. 

“Surprise!!!”, a dozen voices chanted.

The grass that had been empty not five minutes ago had long picnic tables set, filled with food and drinks, there were balloons everywhere…. and everyone they loved, all their family, was there.

“Mary!”, yelled Charlie, jumping up and down.

“Happy birthday, love”, said John, close to the kitchen door with a loving smile.

“One, two, three!”, directed Ellen.

“Haaaappy biiiirthdaaay toooo yoooou…!!”, everyone started singing.

“How did you do this?”, Mary whispered between joy and astonishment.

“Magic”, Dean whispered before joining the song.

Dean watched his work from right outside the kitchen with pride, arms crossed. His father and Bobby were _mano a mano_ against the grill, preparing burgers for everyone, while Ellen had taken out buckets of ice with drinks and had started distributing. Charlie had of course brought her weapons, and was apparently giving Jo a class in the art of softcombat, or LARP fighting. That reminded him, he owed her a rematch. His smile widened as he saw them laugh. Those two got along well.

Everyone was chatting happily, without a care in the world. Together, after rearranging everyone´s schedules and finding a way to get them all there in a glimpse. His mum… was beaming. In her favorite dress and new earrings, surrounded by those she loved.

“Looks happy, doesn´t she?”

He turned his eyes to his left. His father was approaching him with a paper plate that contained a juicy homemade burger.

Dean smiled. His dad was not big with words, or gestures- but it was the little things. Like how he always gave him the second burger of the batch- not the first, that one never came totally right since the grill hadn’t acquired the right temperature just yet. First, flunky one for his dad; second perfect one for Dean. Sam came right after that. It´d been like that since his childhood. It always made him feel stupidly warm on his chest.

“Thanks”, he said accepting the paper plate, and added an excited, “Uuh!”, as he was handed a cold beer too.

“There you go, son”, his dad said delivering them, then clapping his shoulder and leaving his hand there for a moment as he looked around, “Good party, huh?”

“Best I´ve been in in years”, nodded Dean.

“I´m glad you did this. It´s been so long since we all could be together. Must have been hard to get everyone to clear a specific date”

“Some arms to twist, some bargains to make”, he shrugged, “Nothing too fancy”

“And you kept on hunting meanwhile. Your mum says you even got her a present”

Dean, mouth full, just shrugged.

His father turned to him as he munched… and smiled just a bit, mostly with his eyes. Like he did so often when Dean had made him proud.

“You did good, son. Proud of ya”, said as he squished his shoulder a bit before letting his hand down.

Dean looked down, gulping, a hair from blushing. He fought to stay cool, but couldn´t help the shadow of an eager smile on his lips. It wasn’t as if his dad didn´t make a point of telling him from now and then, often enough, but it always made him so childishly happy to hear that. It was kinda pathetic. And kinda awesome.

They both stayed silent for a while, looking around distractedly, until Dean saw his father frown so very slightly. He followed his gaze… and sighed in frustration.

“Yes, he´s here”, he said bluntly but without heat, more tired than angry, “Since he´s the only reason we could pull this off. And since he´s family”, he added, wanting to make sure utility reasons were not the important ones.

John Winchester pressed his lips and nodded, but his face remained distanced. Maybe a little bit uncomfortable.

Dean stopped eating for a second. It was always like this, and it was never a problem. They always just, avoided each other a bit and everything kept on going smoothly. But today… he just didn´t want to deal with this kind of crap. It was too sunny and too happy an occasion, dammit.

“Hey, I know you´ve got issues, okay?”, he said seriously, crisply even, “But not every supernatural creature sucks. He´s good people, and he´s saved my ass- and Sammy´s- more times than I can count”

His father did not answer. His gaze was lost in the distance, and he looked as if he weren’t listening, but Dean knew he was.

“Let me phrase this differently”, he added in a softer tone, a bit more seriously, “He´s not going anywhere. So you best get used to him, okay? And if you gave him one chance, one frigging chance… I´d be very damned grateful”

John looked at him at that, and in his stoic manner Dean thought he saw a bit of doubt in his eyes. To state the point even more, he nodded to his father as a goodbye and walked away.

Towards the person that observed all around on the far right of the garden, close to a small table with a few chairs, a bit apart from everyone else.

“Heya, Cas”

The angel turned to look at him. He was still wearing the damned suit and blue tie, Dean had convinced him to ditch the trenchcoat for the occasion. The hunter shook his head as he saw the tan garment folded over a near chair.

“Hello, Dean”, he smiled at him.

“Thanks a bunch for blinking everything here”, he said with fond eyes, “My mum couldn’t believe what she was seeing”

“It was my pleasure, and it cost me nothing. Ellen and Jo had everything already set, all I did was move it”

“And everyone else with it, from each of their homes”

Castiel just shrugged.

“Just a few trips”

“Couldn´t have pulled it off without you, man”, he said with a warm smile, “Thanks”

The angel looked at him, staring into his eyes for a second as he smiled.

“I was very happy to help you with your mother´s surprise. Thank you for counting on me”

“Always. You know it”, Dean stated softly.

They shared one of their looks, one of their staring glances, as both kept the shadow of a smile on their lips.

“So you haven´t given it to her yet”, Dean guessed, finally looking away first- like pretty much always.

The angel´s stance of detached calm shattered as he widened his eyes and looked away, flustered. He even started fidgeting, for goddamn´s sake.

“… no, not yet”

Okay, he realized, maybe he shouldn´t have left him alone like that. Castiel already knew everyone there from separate events, but this was the first Winchester party he ever attended. Yes, he had once said hi to his mum from the Impala as they left, and he got along with Charlie marvelously; but he was not the most social being, and navigating a human gathering could not be easy for the angel.

“How about I call her now, huh?”

He raised his eyes to Dean´s, obviously very nervous.

“What´s the big deal, angel? She´s gonna love it!”

“Are you sure?”, he said, insecure.

“For the millionth time, Cas- _yes_. Hey, mum!”, he raised his voice, making Cas shoot a glance of horror to him, “Come over here!”

By his side, the angel took a deep breath and steeled himself, straightening his back. Dean smirked, he looked as if he was squaring his shoulders for his garrison inspection. 

“Mum, you remember Cas, right?”

“Of course”, she said, dedicating a warm smile to the angel, “It´s nice to finally meet you properly, Castiel”

“He´s the one that brought everyone and everything”, Dean said in a proud tone.

“It was nothing”, said the angel quickly, and he made a small smile, “Miss Winchester… Thank you for accepting me in your home today”

“Nonsense. You are the one that´s taken care of my boys so many times. Dean says you´re family, then you´re family”

Castiels eyes widened at that, his glance melting a bit, before he lowered his gaze to the floor. He had flushed a little bit. Dean shook his head with half a smile. He was even adorable sometimes.

“Thank you”, he muttered, a small eager smile on his lips.

“He´s got a gift for you”, Dean provided.

His mother looked to both of them in surprise, as Cas lifted his head quickly.

“Oh!, yes, yes…”, he looked around wildly until he found his folded trenchcoat and walked to it to rummage on its wide pockets, “I… I was told it was customary to deliver gifts at birthday celebrations”

“You didn´t have to, Castiel”, Mary said biting her lip.

“No, no, I… I wanted to”, he said turning towards her, “I am also glad that you were born, Miss Winchester. I too would like to celebrate it”

In his hands he had something the size of an apple, covered by a folded piece of cloth.

“I am sorry”, he said, frowning in slight anxiety as he stood awkwardly in front of her for a second, “I did not know about the… wrapping tradition. I didn´t know it was supposed to be wrapped in colored paper”, he clarified, and then abruptly extended his arms to the front to offer the object, a tinge of regret to his demeanor.

“It´s okay, Cas, Jesus”, Dean chuckled.

“It´s perfectly fine, Castiel. I really appreciate it”, said his mother, taking it with a compassionate smile before unveiling the gift.

Mary blinked a bit. In her hands there was a little glass container that contained… a black stone of the size of Dean´s fist, all black and square looking. It was all smooth surfaces and ragged edges, like those rocks that break into little cubes when they shatter.

“What… this…”, Mary looked confused before looking up at Castiel.

“This is fingerite, a copper vanadate mineral. Dean told me you collect minerals. We… tried to think of one you might not have”

Dean could not stop smiling from ear to ear. As moments passed, his mother was more and more awed, looking at the rock and the angel alternatively.

“But this… is super expensive!”, she managed to babble finally.

“Oh, it really wasn´t”, said the angel shaking his head, “See, it´s expensive because it´s very difficult to find, and dangerous to acquire. It only forms under very determined circumstances, in the slopes of active volcano mountains, and it dissolves with rain. So in the few places where it does grow, it disappears quickly if the climate is adverse. And there are no many people eager to go fetch it to the volcanoes… I´m sorry”, he quickly added, frowning, “You probably know this already if you are a mineral enthusiast. It is not my intention to…”, he looked over to Dean as if trying to remember a word, “… angelsplain”

“A… what?”

“Dean has let me know in the past that I have a tendency of over-explaining things as if I believed humans could not know about the subject. I am sorry if it looked that way”

“Oh, no, it´s fine, Castiel… I, I did know about fingerite”, Mary said, still looking very confused, “But... where did you get this?”

“Oh”, Cas´ eyes brightened as he had the answer to that question, “This one comes from the northern slope of Tolbachik volcano in east Russia”

“The one that´s been active for the past three years”, Dean could not help but add in an excited whisper.

Both Castiel and his mother looked at him; her in absolute astonishment, Cas in a warning measure; and he lowered his eyes and decided to shut up… or his mum would guess that he had hitched a ride when Cas had gone searching. The angel had been absolutely adamant about not letting him see the lava from up close, but even though he had been safe the whole time, his mother would flip out if she ever heard of that little adventure.

“You… you…”, babbled Mary, “… went to an active volcano… for this”

“Do not worry, I was never in any real danger”, assured the angel with serene eyes, “It seemed a bit like cheating to me, since I have more advantages than a human… but Dean insisted you wouldn´t have one of those”

“Oh… I don´t. I don´t!”, she finally snapped out of her astonishment, “Castiel, this is incredible!”

“So... you like it?”, he said with hopeful eyes.

“Yes!! Oh my God, yes! This is amazing!”, she said as she lifted the rock to see it better in the sunlight.

Castiel smiled so widely at that. Dean´s eyes just shifted between the angel´s and his mother´s smiles, drinking eagerly from each image, his chest filled with light, a moronic smile on his own lips.

“That makes me so glad”, Castiel said, eagerness dripping from his voice, “You were right, Dean”

“Told you she´d like it”

“Like it? Oh, my god! I gotta show it to everyone! Come!”, Mary said filled with emotion.

And before Cas could argue, she took him by the hand and dragged him along in Ellen´s direction. The angel shot a panicked look towards Dean, but he just smiled and waved him goodbye by taking two fingers to his temple as a salute, letting him know he was alone at that.

He took the last sip of his beer as he saw Mary take Cas in front of Ellen, to which he´d never actually spoken more than two sentences, but his presence was received with some smiling and some approval nodding as his mother showed the shiny rock. Dean smiled to himself. He´d be fine, and the mingling would be good for him. But he was outta booze, so he walked all the way to the grill, beside which the cooler with drinks had been established.

“Hey, Bobby”, he said as he walked by the old, retired hunter.

“Dean”, he nodded in his direction, “Good party”

“Thanks”

Bobby adjusted his cap and took out the last two burgers, handing them to John so he would deliver them around. Dean was leaving his empty bottle on that little recycling bin Sam had insisted they had to use and reaching for a new cold one when he heard Bobby snort.

“Leave that right there, you _idjit_. I brought´ja somethin´”

He raised his glance at Bobby, his interest peaking. 

“Oh?”, he said.

The old hunter just made half a smile as he turned around and rummaged inside a bag he´d apparently brought… to turn back to him with two glasses and one bottle of golden-colored liquid. Dean smiled upon noticing its probable nature… but then his face slacked as he recognized the label.

“Bobby…”, he mumbled, mouth agape, “That… didn´t we open this bottle ages ago?”

“I found another one. Last one of the batch, I think. That Charlie chick helped me track it down through the internet”

“Woah! That is awesome!”, he said with a wide smile, taking the bottle to admire it closer.

“I remembered you liked it, boy. Called it the best scotch you´d ever had. So I bought it in case something special happened”

Dean looked up to find Bobby´s fond eyes on him.

“Why today?”

“Well, as I see it”, the hunter´s eyes run over the whole gathering for a moment, “there are a lot of things to celebrate today. Your mum´s birthday. Jess. And, you know”, the old man bobbed his head to one direction.

Dean followed the gesture and saw how Mary and Ellen were laughing as Cas had his little, eager smile of _I tried a joke and it worked_.

The young hunter turned back to Bobby rolling his eyes.

“What?”, Bobby shrugged, “I like the guy. It´s good he´s finally invited”

“He was invited before, just… busy”

It was true that this was Cas´s first attendance to a Winchester party, but it wasn’t such a big deal, jeez. However, he could not help but feel the shadow of a smile invading his lips. Bobby´s attitude was a nice change of tune against John´s reserves.

Bobby had taken the bottle from his hands and opened it, poured them both a bit of scotch on their glasses, and left the bottle on the table.

“To him not being busy, then”, he said handing him the glass, “To all of us being able to do this more often”

Dean didn’t stop his smile from conquering the rest of his face as he took the glass and sipped from it. He immediately moaned with his eyes closed.

“Jesus, that´s good scotch”

“Yeah”

“You gonna share with the rest?”

“Maybe, if they behave”, grunted Bobby with a smile, “Don´t tell your father just yet, just in case”

Dean barked out a laugh and his eyes automatically went to where his dad… was looking at the fighting girls, pointedly away from where Mary, Cas and Ellen talked. His spirits dimmed a bit, before a slight angry frown formed on his brow.

“Hey”, Bobby said, a bit softer, “Don´t let your old man get to you. He´ll come around”

“As if I cared”, Dean said as he drank again.

Bobby gave him a warm, compassionate smile, and said nothing else.

They both shared that comfortable silence they sometimes got into, sipping on their scotch, knowing all the feelings between them without the need of acknowledging them or saying them out loud. Bobby might not be his father… but family didn´t end in blood.

Suddenly, movement caught his eye. Sam was waving at him from the other side of the garden. His face was lit and his movements to make him go over there were frantic.

“Oh. _Oh!_ ”, Dean snapped, heart pounding, “I-I gotta go!”

“Go get´em, tiger”, Bobby growled like a satisfied cat as he smiled.

He could barely remember to finish the scotch and leave the glass on the table before rushing towards his brother, half running. He didn’t want to look like an eager teenager- but damn did he feel like one.

“Is it? Is it kicking??”, he said as soon as he got close enough not to shout it.

Sam snatched his hand and put it into Jess´s swollen belly.

And after a few hysterical heartbeats, he felt the little push.

Dean would forever, forever swear he didn’t make the sound he emitted as he felt the kick of his future nephew; but it sure made Jessica burst out laughing.

“Oh, God”, he moaned in a squeaky voice, “He´s kicking. Little Dean is kicking!”

“For the last time, we are not calling him _Little Dean_ ”

Dean grimaced in absolute regret. He should have not called his penis like that for so long, and his brother reminded him of the fact every time he mentioned how much he wanted the child to be named after him.

“Hi, Jess”, Dean said, raising his eyes to the woman´s, still with one knee in the ground and still with one hand to her belly; a silly smile on his face.

“Hi, Dean”, she chuckled.

Almost six months now, three to go- though those things varied? Dean just couldn´t wait. 

“I sure hope you´re not gonna name him _John_ ”, Dean growled.

“Oh, no, no name repeats”, Sam sighed, “Or family reunions will be a mess”

“I just can´t believe you guys haven’t asked for the gender of the baby yet”, Dean deadpanned towards his brother.

“Sex”, he corrected him.

“Whatever”

“It´s not the same, Dean”

“But you gotta know what to name him!”, Dean complained.

“Stop assuming it´s a boy, Dean”, Sam chided slightly, smiling, “We may go simply with a gender-neutral name”

“Oh, for Christ´s sake, you hippies...”

“What if we misgendered our child for years, Dean?”

“Well, then you listen to them and change everything. You will love them no matter what, and if someday they wake up and realize they´re a Chrissie instead of a Stevie I´m sure you´ll be cool with it. But you gotta start somewhere. And there´s always the possibility that they will always want to be a Stevie”, he said, and he grunted, “Come on, you can´t really mean that you don´t care _in the least_ about the baby´s sex!”

He saw his brother open his mouth and then closing it, looking away.

“Aha! I knew it!”

“Sam?”

His brother turned flustered to Jess.

“It´s nothing. I´m a bit curious, but that´s all. We said we´d learn it at birth and that´s what we´ll do. Don´t worry, Jess”, he smiled at his wife.

The blond woman tilted her head pensively, looking at him… and got close enough to cling to his arm and perch her head on his chest.

“You know… I´ve started to be a little curious myself lately”

Sam´s eyes shot wide open and he looked down at her.

“Really??”

“I mean… yeah. Dean´s got a point. We won´t absolutely assume our kid´s gender until they are sure enough to know themselves… but there is a very high chance that it will correlate to their sex…”

“Come on”, Dean teased them, “Wouldn´t it be awesome to think of a little girl, or a cute little boy?”

“Ah…”, Sam said, at a loss for words.

“Dude, _every parent_ fantasizes about these things! Don´t you too?”, he said to both of them, eagerly. 

“I don’t know… maybe?”, Jess said with a little dreamy smile.

Sam blinked, mouth agape for a second before huffing as he smiled.

“Yeah... I-I mean, it´s gonna be a cute little _baby_ , regardless of sex or gender. We´re gonna love them the same”

“Of course”

“But… I don’t know. I still feel kinda thrilled to… know”

“Me too”

They stayed silent for a second.

“I… Okay so, shall we schedule a doctor´s visit then?”, he said in an eager tone of voice.

“Sure, let´s”, Jess said as she lifted her gaze up to her husband.

And then they both shared one of those love-dovey looks that Dean usually mocked them for. But not this time. This time he let their love stretch through as much time as they wanted.

Also, because his mind was buzzing with an _awesome_ idea he just got. 

“Hey, Cas!”, he shouted to the other side of the garden, “Can you come over here?”

“Cas, Castiel, the angel?”, asked Jess to Sam.

“The very same”

“Oh”

Cas seemed to excuse himself from his conversation with Ellen and Mary and walked to them. But as soon as he got close, he stopped right in his tracks. His eyes were wide with awe, his lips partly parted. His expression turned marveled, shocked, humbled.

 _Oh, he fucking_ knows, Dean thought as he smiled to himself.

The angel finally resumed his walking and got slowly closer to them, eyes never leaving Jessica.

“Hi”, he murmured.

“What is it, Cas? Something wrong?”, said Sam, frowning in confusion and a little worry.

“No, no”, he murmured, “It´s just… the glow of your aura. The miracle of life. It´s… a bit overwhelming. You… are doing God´s work, in a sense. I feel very honored to be in your presence right now”

The angel was surely looking at Jess as if she was God herself. The woman blushed slightly.

“Less intensity, Cas”, Dean said with a warm smile.

“Oh. I´m sorry. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable”, the angel tried to smile, “It´s just… humbling. Congratulations”

Humbling to an angel, holy fucking shit. Dean smiled to himself. It was true that Cas hadn´t had the opportunity of interacting with Jessica since before her pregnancy started, but he hadn´t expected him to be so enthralled by her view. It was kinda moving.

“I´m sorry”, the angel said again, “Dean says I can get a bit too intense sometimes”

“It´s alright”, Jess finally answered, an awkward smile on her lips, “I´m just not... used to be treated like some kind of… goddess”

“But you are, in so many ways”, Castiel frowned, and he directed a reproachful glance to Sam, “You should cherish your wife more”

“What?”, he blinked in surprise, “I cherish her!”

“She´s making your baby”

“I helped too!”

“If my understanding of human reproduction is correct, I strongly suspect you barely had a brief participation on the matter”

Dean burst out laughing as Sam´s cheeks flushed a bit.

“He´s got you there, you know”, he chuckled, “You´re not the cooking oven for nine months”

“He treats me perfectly, Cas, don´t worry”, Jessica added as he laughed too, “Like a queen”

“Ah. Fine then”, the angel relaxed a bit, as if an awful wrong had just been righted.

“So, Cas”, Dean said in a conversational tone, “What do your angel eyes see? When you look at the baby?”

Sam´s eyebrows shot up and he looked at Dean, his idea latching on his brain too. The angel looked at Jessica as if asking for permission, and she made a small smile and nodded. He looked down at her womb and… his eyes melted, as if he was seeing the most moving thing that had ever existed.

“It´s… such a beautiful soul”

And as he rose his eyes again, they were gleaming a bit. Holy crap. Cas was serious about kids, dammit.

“So _not_ what I meant”, Dean chuckled.

“Cas…”, Sam mumbled, a little pale, “Can… do you see the baby´s sex?”

The angel frowned in slight confusion, his gaze shifting between Sam and Jessica.

“Is that relevant?”

“Ah, no, I mean not very much, and of course, way less than their soul…”, Sam babbled.

“It kinda is”, Dean interrupted his brother, “Some people throw parties”

“That makes so very little sense”, the angel frowned, “Why is it such an important fact?”

“It´s just a human thing”

“It-It really isn´t that important, Cas…”, Sam started.

“They´d like to know”, Dean stated.

The angel blinked and looked towards Jess and Sam again.

“You do?”

“Y… Yes?”, Sam said in a doubtful tone, probably worried about if he was being inclusive enough.

“Yes”, Jessica said with more confidence.

The angel looked at both of them with uncomprehension, then at Dean, who gave him an encouraging smile. He then shrugged, as if he simply decided to accept it, and dedicated the couple a small smile.

“It is a male baby”

The way his brother´s eyes widened at that, would forever remain burned in Dean´s retinas.

“HA!!”, Dean exclaimed, pumping a fist, “I knew it!!”

“A… a boy!!”, he exclaimed, “A healthy boy! Healthy?”, he suddenly asked looking at Cas, “He´s healthy, right?”

The angel´s smile widened and he nodded.

“Growing strong, for what I can tell”

Sam gasped and looked at Jess, who had her overwhelmed gaze lost in the distance as she touched her belly with one hand. His wife turned to him and they both did these, whiny emotional sounds before tearing up and hugging each other.

Cas looked at Dean in absolute surprise, marveled and shocked at the display of emotion and happiness that something so simple and unimportant to him had created. The hunter passed an arm over his shoulder and took him closer fondly.

“Well done, buddy”

“But… I did nothing…”, the confused angel murmured.

People had started to see the couple´s reaction, getting closer, asking questions… when Dean heard something.

His head whipped back, some kind of feeling grasping at his heart for a second. Like… fear, for some reason. Like angst. Had…

Had that been his brother´s voice, calling his name?

“Dean?”

He looked back at Cas, who beneath his arm was frowning slightly.

“It´s everything alright?”, he asked in a discreet, fond tone.

Dean looked at those blue eyes for a second, then turned to where his brother was breaking the news… to his mum and dad. They looked so happy…

“Yeah, it´s fine, Cas”, Dean said as he relaxed.

Yes. Everything was alright. Life was sweet, sweeter than ever.

And he wouldn´t change it for anything, ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that! This truly is a time for fluff and family cuteness, isn't it? I´m sorry for everyone that liked that and that realized at the end Deans gonna wake up sooner or later and he's gonna be so fucked up when he does.
> 
> Im just realizing a big chunk of this fic is Dean suffering. Im gonna go add more tags in relation to that xD 
> 
> Special thanks to Angel of the Small Death, SputTop and Yonicorn from the Destiel Family Server and Tori from Family Bussiness Server for the help on the sex/gender scene.
> 
> Ah! For your info, fingerite actually exists. When I was researching for special minerals, I couldn't believe I had found one that grew on volcanoes and dissolved in rain xD Just PERFECT for an angel! I don´t really know if it´s expensive, though, or if volcanoes have to actually be active for it to grow. But they do grow in Tolbachik volcano in Russia- at least I found online a fingerite that came from that place. And since Misha is russian, I found it funny and I incorporated all of that ^^


	7. Beautiful Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Road So Far: The Winchester family is celebrating Mary´s birthday. Everyone is alive, happy, and in a great moment of their lives. Having lived a happy, fulfilling childhood; Dean now usually hunts with his father or Castiel, now that Sam has retired to start a family with Jessica, who is six months pregnant. Castiel, who John has never liked very much (to Dean´s frustration), just revealed the baby will be born a biological male, causing glee all around. 
> 
> At least, inside Dean´s head; after being bitten by some snakes conjured by the Echidna his brother and him were hunting. Hypnotized, violent civilians had Sam cornered before Dean lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah!! I´m so happy to be posting this. I finished this in a fit of inspiration at like 2am and I honestly think, even though maybe some of you might hate me, that this is the best chapter I have ever written. Which is strange, cause I knew it was gonna be awesome to write but I didn't expect the intensity :) I´m so, so happy. I really hope you like it :) 
> 
> I had trouble coming up with the title but when it became Beautiful Nightmare I went back to change the last chapter´s name (from "Sweet Dreams" to "Sweet Dream") so they both became one pack of "Sweet Dream and Beautiful Nightmare", inspired by Beyonce´s song. That I have heard a long time ago but I relistened to, and realized that it was A HELL OF A SOUNDTRACK for this entire fic- especially when Dean´s *AHEM* erotic dreams start. 
> 
> *My guilty pleasure, I am going nowhere,  
> Babe as long as you´re here  
> I´ll be floating on air...*
> 
> Edit- I´m sorry, I DID IT AGAIN. I had this chapter already written like a week ago, but I wanted to try and do a cover of the acoustic version of Beyonce´s Sweet Dreams.... And fuck, let´s face it, I´m never gonna upload anything xD I record it and it´s never good enough, and I keep saying I´ll do a better version and all of that... I´m so frustrated xD So sorry for the delay!
> 
> Anyway :) I will leave you with Dean´s dreamy world, his sweet dream AND beautiful nightmare... Enjoy!

The baby news exploded immediately, and suddenly the birthday party became a gender reveal party too. Mary couldn’t be happier about it. She clung to Sam´s arm for several minutes with tears in her eyes. Jess was held for some moments in a sandwich hug between Charlie and Jo- just before being bombarded with excited and high-pitched questions. John seemed too overwhelmed to say much, but he did pull Sam down into a tight hug before excusing himself, eyes glinting. Bobby came to clap Sam in the shoulder with shiny proud eyes as he offered him some of that scotch, declaring he _knew this was the day to bring it, dammit!_ When Sam politely declined, in sober solidarity with his wife, he left Bobby no other way to show his love than to grab him by the jacket and pull him down into a clapping hug.

All around Dean, his loved ones rejoiced in their luck and gratitude, and for several minutes he just… contemplated them. There were tears all around, hugs and laughter, and… he honestly couldn’t remember a day he had been happier. Ever. He had tears on his own eyes at some point, before quickly sniffing and chuckling to regain control of himself.

Castiel wasn´t with them at the moment. The angel had been very happy for everyone´s reactions, but he really had felt his feat _not to be deserving of so much gratefulness and praise_. He had declared himself _a bit overwhelmed_ at some point, and wishing for the family to have their private moment, he had distanced himself a bit and started simply contemplating the sky, as he sometimes did. Dean knew he was alright.

But Dean´s little bubble of happiness started to deflate pretty quickly as he saw his father approaching the angel with purposeful strides.

 _Oh, no. Oh, hell fucking no_ , he thought.

His fucking excuse for a father was _not_ going to choose this day to finally throw down with Cas, not on his fucking watch. He hurriedly excused himself and started walking over, not too fast so he wouldn’t draw everyone´s attention.

But John seemed pretty determined, he walked fast, and Dean felt his stomach fall as he realized he wouldn’t be swift enough to grab him away by an arm before he got to the unawaring angel.

“Castiel”, Dean heard, halfway from them.

Cas tore his eyes from the clouds abruptly, looking startled and wide-eyed.

“Ah…! John…”, he said, blinking. 

This was the first time they were this close, and the angel seemed very confused for a moment. Dean knew that Cas was just a _little_ bit scared of his father, or at least wary of him. The hunter had mocked him when he found out, reminding him he was _an Angel of the Lord_. Cas had glared at him and reminded him instead that _he_ is _John Winchester after all_. He supposed the angel had a point. At the end of the day, his dad was a ruthless hunter, and his fame preceded him. 

“Hello”, Castiel finally said.

“Yeah, hi”, his father grunted.

Dean gritted his teeth, accelerating his pace. He had to stop the confrontation before it happened, before it ruined everyone´s spirits…

“I… heard you found out the gender of my grandson”, he heard his father say.

Dean stopped right on his tracks, only two steps away. His father´s voice was… Awkward? Insecure? Non-belligerent?

What was happening?

“I… yes. They asked me to”, Cas said, a guarded defensive manner to his posture.

“Yeah, yeah. I know”

A small silence ensued. Castiel was frowning so hard that Dean could almost see the wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out what was happening exactly. He felt the exact same way. John was tense but tried to hide it, hands in his pockets, lazy look gliding over the garden, the sky, the floor- anywhere but the angel.

“I also heard, you helped a lot in putting all of this together for my Mary”

Dean and Cas must have been connected somehow, because both of their mouths opened slightly upon the realization of… where this was going.

“Says you brought her a gift”, John finally raised his eyes to the angel.

“Uh…”, Cas babbled for a second, “I… I did”, the angel looked down in small embarrassment, “I… think she liked it”

“She told me”, John added in a soft voice, looking back at the crowd, a small smile tugging from one of the corners of his mouth.

Dean´s heart was pounding fast. He was so fucking nervous, frozen two steps away at his father´s back. He wanted to disappear, to be a state away- _nothing_ could break this fragile moment. But he feared that if he moved, they´d notice him…

“I hear”, John kind of sighed as his eyes roamed the whole garden, “that you have taken good care of my boys one time or two”

“As… much as they have cared for me, sir…”, Cas said, apparently a bit of confidence giving him more speech abilities, “They are… very good hunters. I wouldn´t wish anyone else than them watching my back”

Dean bit his lips to stop his smile from spreading upon the use of _sir_. Great move, Cas! And praising his sons´ hunting abilities, he was _nailing_ this!!

“I hear”, John continued, his eyes a bit soft on the grass in front of them, “you´re taking care of Dean as he hunts, now that Sam´s retired”

Castiel gulped and looked to the front too.

“I… I try to”

Another silence ensued… but this time, it wasn´t so tense. It was uncertain and fragile, filled with possibility, empty of so many things left unsaid, but at least with the echo of some words spoken at last… 

“Would you like a beer?”, murmured John.

Dean´s eyes widened as his heart galloped. Castiel frowned at the question, as if he didn´t know what to answer. Panic surged in Dean at the possibility of the angel declining, and he practically screamed:

“Yes, he´d like it!!”

Cas and John whirled towards him, absolutely shocked to find him so close.

“Hahaha, I-I saw you from afar, I´d think I´d join…”, he said chuckling, walking briskly the few steps that separated them and stopping beside Cas, putting a hand to his arm, “He´d like that beer. Right, Cas?”

And as he smiled tensely, he covertly squeezed the angel´s arm with crushing strength.

“I, I, yes, of course- of course I´d like it”, babbled Cas, frowning in a strange attempt of looking serious and respectable through his nerves.

“Aight”, chuckled the old hunter, hand still on his pockets.

And as Dean slowly let out a breath he hadn´t realized he´d been holding, John Winchester walked away calmly to get a _beer_ for _Castiel the angel_.

“Dean, should I really have said yes?”, he heard Cas ask in a worried whisper while his eyes still trailed his dad, “Alcohol consumption is often related by some individuals with poor judgment and low discipline; also, I´m an angel, he knows I usually don´t drink or eat, so why…?”

“ _The beer is a peace offering, Cas_!”, Dean shut him up in an excited whisper as he whirled towards him.

Castiel´s eyes widened as he gasped in surprise… realizing the open door, the opportunity.

“What do I do?”, he asked with nervous puppy eyes, “How do I make this work?”

“Just, accept it and drink it. Not the whole bottle, space it out. Don´t look at him too much. Look at the garden, at the people, instead. Be relaxed, as if nothing happened”

“But something _has happened_ , Dean!”, Cas replied intensely, frowning anxiously.

“Yeah, but this is one of those situations in which you´re cooler if you act as if it was nothing important”

“Okay. Alright. I can be cool”, the angel murmured, his eyes flicking in all directions in intense thought.

“Try to talk a bit. But not too much”

“How much is too much, Dean?”, Cas whispered intensely.

“Oh, here he comes”

“ _Dean, how much is…_!”

Castiel clasped his mouth as John got to them, and he gave him a tense smile.

“Here you go, boys”, John said as he handed them two uncapped cold ones.

Cas´s eyes got a bit wide at the sight, and he took the bottle with careful movements, as if he was being handed the Holy Grail. Dean would have burst out laughing it that hadn´t ruined everything.

“Thank you. I appreciate it”, murmured the angel before taking it to his lips for a second, “Hm. It´s very good”

His tone had been a little bit robotic. He was nervous. Dean clapped his shoulder and left his hand there, squeezing in gentle encouragement as he took the other bottle.

“Yeah, thanks dad”, he murmured.

The three of them drank and looked at the garden. From afar, Dean saw Sam look at them and widen his eyes, open his mouth in awe, and pat his mum´s arm to get her attention before pointing at them. Dean shot glaring daggers at him, and his brother flinched and looked away before John realized they were being observed. But yeah, he guessed they presented an unprecedented scene. The three of them together, drinking merrily.

But in complete silence. Dean licked his lips, his eyes flicking from his father to the angel.

“So. Dad”, he said tentatively, “Cas showed me the other day a new way to deal with ghouls”

“Did he?”, the old hunter asked, turning a bit towards them.

“Yeah. See, apparently there´s something blasphemous in ghouls, given they feed off the dead of those that deserve their holy rest… So angel blades hurt them a lot. You can also identify if someone you´re talking to is a ghoul in disguise by touching them with it, even if it’s the handle. It´s something in the material they´re made of”

“Hmm. That is pretty handy. Good thing you´ve got someone with access to those”, chuckled John.

“I… I could get one for you”, ventured Cas.

“Really?”, the old hunter asked, looking at him.

“I got one for Dean”, the angel shrugged, “It wouldn´t be much trouble”

“And… would the rest of the angels be okay with you handing holy weapons to humans so willy-nilly?”

Castiel glimpsed up at the clouds, frowned down, pressed his lips… and look pensively to one side.

“They wouldn´t have to find out…”, he said in a shy but suggestive tone.

At that, John let out a delighted low chuckle. Cas looked up at him, eyes shining at his approval as he started to smile a bit. Dean bit his lip. This couldn´t be going better.

“I´m gonna have to get back to you on that offer, Cas”, the old hunter said, smiling to the garden, “I´m starting to think I could retire”, John looked sideways at Dean, “Now that Dean has found a good hunting partner, he might not need me around that much”

Dean blinked in surprise before smiling up at his father. _Thanks_ , he said only with his eyes.

John gave him a weak smile and his eyes flicked down in embarrassment for a moment before looking back up. _Yeah, sorry._

And the three of them stayed overlooking the party, beers in their hands, warm silence between them.

Dean sighed happily. He was sitting on a white wooden bench. In front of him, the sun was setting behind the mountains, dyeing the sky in a myriad of reds, pinks, and purples as it filtered through lazily moving clouds.

The day had progressed through merry and laughter. Charlie had asked Dean to participate in a little friendly softcombat tournament with Jo and Cas, and though the angel had politely declined, John had shown some interest. That had led to some smiling dares, and had ended up with Dean facing his dad with foam swords on their hands. The fight had been witnessed and cheered by everyone, Bobby and Ellen even placing bets. Dean had won, if barely, thanks to a technique Charlie had taught him long ago. As he lifted his father from the ground through a tight grip, his old man had smiled proudly at him, telling him that _the weight is just wrong, you know, takes time to get used to- I´ll get ya next time._ Dean hadn´t played around like that with his dad since he was a kid; and also, beating him in something remotely related to combat… It had been the most awesome Dean had ever felt.

The late afternoon was turning a bit chilly, so people had started to retreat to the kitchen. Dean knew without even peeking that they would be playing some sort of board game, or just drinking and talking happily. He would join them soon… but now, he was so peaceful there, just watching the reddening clouds.

It was just him and Cas in the silence.

The angel was resting his elbows on his knees, lining towards the front as his wistful eyes contemplated the sunset. He zoned out looking at the sky very often, occasionally smiling a bit to himself. Dean found himself watching him sometimes, trying to figure out what was going through that complicated mind of his. Could he see Heaven from there? Was he communicating through angel radio? Did he get lost in his thousands of years of memories? Or did he just… like the clouds? That would be so Cas... He always seemed serene and content as he did so, however. So even if Dean didn’t completely understand, it was a sight that brought him calm. Always.

Suddenly, in the farthest distance, he heard… thunder? Dean blinked and searched the sky. The was not one thundercloud in sight… But had the clouds moved? He´d swear they didn’t look like that a moment ago…

He frowned slightly and looked at his companion, searching for any reaction on him that showed if the angel had heard something too.

Castiel must have felt his eyes on him, because his smile widened, touching his eyes, before turning to him.

“Did you have fun today?”, he asked in a soft tone.

His blue gaze was like a calming balm, and Dean´s shoulders untightened. Someone must have cracked some fireworks at a nearby house or something.

“So fucking much, man”, Dean answered with a lazy grin, the memories of the day playing in front of his eyes.

“That makes me glad”, said the angel fondly, so much care in his voice.

They both stared at each other for some moments, as they usually did. Then Dean chuckled, looking down.

“Dude, I know I told you to space it out- but this is ridiculous. Are you ever gonna finish that?”

The angel huffed out a little laugh as his smile turned a bit embarrassed. The beer bottle that hung from his hand between his knees had like two fingers of beer still inside, surely warm after hours of being carried around.

“I´m… just sad to finish it”, the angel said in a murmur and shrugged, a shy smile on his face, gaze on the floor, a hair from blushing.

Dean bit his lip to avoid a burst of laughter. The dorky guy was almost adorable sometimes, dammit. He knew he would break Castiel´s heart if he told him that if he´d finished it, it would have given John the opportunity of bringing him another; so he chose silence instead. He´d tell him in the next reunion they had. They could do this often, now. If Heaven was okay with Cas being away, that is.

Something… nagged at him suddenly at that thought, and he turned to the angel.

“How´s Heaven? Any problems?”

Castiel frowned at him in utter confusion as a puzzled smile creeped on his lips.

“What do you mean, Dean? It´s _Heaven_ ”

The hunter wanted to smack himself on the forehead. _Of course_ there were no problems in Heaven. It was Heaven. It was perfect, as it should be.

“Pfft, you´re right. I don´t know what I was thinking”, he chuckled as he took a sip of beer.

Something about… Cas having problems in Heaven? Meh, that made no sense.

“Things have been actually pretty quiet since we closed the Gates of Hell thanks to the Tablets”, the angel said right before taking a sip of beer, looking up at the clouds.

When the bottle came down, Dean would swear it had not emptied itself at all. Cas had probably just let it touch his lips. He smiled fondly as he shook his head.

“Really? I thought you´d be pretty busy, with that promotion you got for doing that”

“The merit was not only mine”, the angel dedicated half a smile towards Dean as he looked at him sideways.

The hunter smiled knowingly back. It had been a flawless hunt; Cas, Sam, Kevin and him. And poof, no more demons on Earth. Bye forever, Crowley.

“Well, but you _were_ Heaven´s only representative there. So you get to take the credit in front of the angels”

“I truly believe I don´t”, the angel answered with a humble smile, looking down.

Dean was gonna say something else, but for a second he thought he heard Sam calling him. He twisted his neck around to look back towards the house… but had he really heard anything? 

“And also… I rejected it”, the angel added.

Dean blinked at him, his attention snapping back.

“What? You rejected to have your own garrison? Why?”

Castiel twisted his mouth in slight rejection.

“I… have found I prefer to work as I´ve been doing it in the past years. Garrisons… are very effective in terms of dealing with big threats but… they do miss the little picture, so to speak. A family that got a kid abducted. A teen that was taken by a vampire. I feel those are important too. In fact, I… asked for a different reward, actually”, the angel ventured, licking his lips.

“Oh?”, Dean asked in an interested tone, “And what´s that?”

“A… sabbatical. Sort of”, the angel answered, not looking at Dean for a second.

The hunter blinked at him in confusion.

“A sabbatical. From Heaven?”

“Mm, yeah… They can count on me if they have problems, but aside from that… I will reduce the heavenly missions I participate in at will. I´ll have more free time”

Castiel´s blue orbs glided shily towards Dean.

“I could… spend more time on Earth, if I wanted”

Dean raised his eyebrows in understanding and started to slowly smile.

“Doing you know. The little hunts”, Cas added quickly.

“That sounds awesome, Cas”, Dean finally said, grinning widely.

The angel looked at his smile and smiled back as he looked towards the ground.

“I thought it might…”, he murmured.

Dean chuckled and passed an arm over his shoulders, clapping him twice before leaving his hand hanging and contemplating the clouds again. They had the trust for that. They were best friends, family. And it felt amazing to know the angel would not have to rush away soon.

He heard another thundery sound, and frowned. That… Did that kind of sound like a gun, so fucking far away? It made no sense. It had to be fireworks. A car engine breaking down, maybe.

“Why don´t you stay the night?”, he asked on an unknown sudden impulse.

“What?”, the angel asked in utter surprise.

“I mean, we got rooms to spare. And you don´t have to hurry back, right? Stay for dinner. It´ll be nice, smaller. Just us and my folks and Sam and Jess. Mum will love it”

“Oh, no; oh, no, no, no, no”, blabbered Cas, negating with his head nervously, “Dean, I truly doubt your father would like that”

“Come oooon, you´re like a third son already”

“He gave me a beer, Dean; he didn’t adopt me”, Cas deadpanned, glaring at him a bit.

Dean laughed to himself and fell silent. He was not done, and he knew he could break through to him.

_Dean!!!_

He jumped on his seat, and the shocked spasm that ran through his muscles made him lose his grip on his beer. The bottle fell to the ground with a dull thud, spilling its contents as Dean sat up, panting.

“Dean?”, Cas asked in a worried tone by his side.

He gulped, confusion blinding his mind for a second. He… he´d felt as if someone had been _screaming into his fucking face_ for a second. A cold fear started to spread through all of his body, and he didn´t know where it came from; maybe from an old memory, or an invasive thought, or just… just the memory of a nightmare of something that never ever came to be real…

“Dean”

He looked to his right as he felt Castiel´s hand on his shoulder. The angel was looking at him in firm worry.

“I… I don´t know what happened”, he stammered.

“It´s alright, Dean. Everything´s alright”, Cas said in a steady, calming voice, “You know that sometimes we get spooked by sudden sounds, it comes with the hunting. There´s no shame in it, you know it happens to me too. It was those fireworks, right?”

Dean sighed in utter relief upon hearing that.

“You heard them too?”, he asked, hopeful eyes on the angel.

“Of course”, Cas answered with a slight, worried frown, “There are some kids playing two houses over. Do you want me to fly over there and tell them to stop?”

“No, no, no, there´s no need”, Dean sighed as he shook his head, and he closed his eyes for a second.

No kids deserved their fun spoiled just because he was a scaredy-cat… He left his head hanging forward, still sitting at the edge of the bench. He felt Cas´s hand on his back, light as a feather, and a wash of heavenly warmth run through his whole body. After it ended, Dean took a deep breath, his anxiety gone, and he opened his eyes to look at Cas with a grateful smile.

“Don´t worry, Dean. It´s a happy day”, the angel smiled sweetly at him.

Yeah, yeah it was. Dean felt a warm fuzzy feeling blooming on his chest as he realized again how much he had, how grateful he was for it, how happy it made him.

But his thoughts froze as he saw the cold beer on his hand, resting on his knee.

He felt himself go pale. He had dropped that. Hadn´t he? He looked down. The floor was spotless. But he remembered… did he? Had… had the bottle made any sound, had he been splashed…?

He frowned, gulping. W-What was wrong with him? He´d _never_ dropped his beer. He´d remember that! He would. Where had that idea come from? His stomach tightened again, cold fear sipping into his veins.

“Som… Something´s not right, Cas”, he murmured, eyes flicking nervously over the garden, as if his surroundings could give him any answers.

“What do you mean? Everything´s fine, Dean…”

“No, no, no; I know it, I feel it, I feel it in my gut…”

He felt Castiel´s hand on his cheek, making him look into his eyes. The angel looked extremely worried for him, suffering for his suffering.

“What do you need, Dean?”, he asked, his blue eyes drowning him.

_You. This. All of this. All of them_ ; he thought, everything at the same time.

“I-I don´t know…”, he stammered.

He suddenly _screamed_ , an awful stinging pain on his knee; as more thunder and that _voice_ echoed in the distance.

_Dean, come back…!!!_

Dean panted, hand on his knee, but when he looked down there was no wound, there wasn´t anything. And he didn’t remember the voice anymore- but the pain, it had been undeniable. He looked up at Cas, angst crushing his heart, certainty on his soul.

And he saw recognition in the angel´s eyes.

“I heard that”, he deadpanned somberly.

“Right??”, Dean said with a slight shrill, “I´m not crazy, am I?”

“No”, the angel said very seriously, standing, “Something´s wrong”

Dean stood too as the blue orbs flicked around, lost in the distance, as Cas tried to find something with his angelic senses.

His frowned eyebrows raised a bit as his eyes locked on something, like a hound that´s found its prey. Then they glided to the left, making him slowly turn his head, turn his whole body…

… towards the house.

“They´re in danger”, he said in his most gravel voice.

And he blinked out of existence.

“Shit, Cas!!”, Dean complained.

And the hunter started running, heart on his throat.

Dean ran frantically towards the house, fear rising with each beat of his racing heart, thoughts locked on his family´s happy faces. Would they be on time? Had the damned house always been so far away? And couldn’t have the angel teleported them both, dammit??

 _Calm down, Dean_ , he told himself, _We´re all hunters here. We deal with this shit every day. Something´s up, but we will manage._

And he _finally_ reached the wooden steps, _finally_ almost crashed against the glass door, and _finally_ grabbed the doorknob to yank it open.

But it didn’t move.

He blinked in utter surprise. They had locked the garden door with them outside? That made no sense. He yanked harder, unable to even rattle the feeble door on its frame.

But suddenly he looked up.

**_((Tw: people dying by fire, screams))_ **

And he didn’t know how, but in that moment everything making perfect sense, he suddenly could see what was happening upstairs.

For some reason, everyone was on the second floor. Cas had appeared by the stairs, by Sam and Jess. Ellen, Bobby, Jo and Charlie stared in mouth-agape horror…

… at Mary, who had been pushed to the farthest wall by an unseen force- right before the wall exploded into fire.

“Mary!”, screamed John.

“No!!!”, Dean yelled from where he stood.

To his horror, his dad run towards his mum, taking the hand she extended to him as a cry of help- and the fire swirled from her arm to his, to his chest, to his whole body.

“No!! Dad!! Mooom!!”, Dean screamed, voice breaking. 

His old man fell to his knees, as well as his mother, and both raised weak arms to hug each other as the flames consumed them. The roar of the flames muffled their screams.

“No!!”, screamed Cas, and surged forward.

He ran to their side, dipped his hand unafraid onto the flames- and _screamed_.

The angel took two steps back, face contorted in pain, in surprise; as his right hand finished melting horridly, skin melted like wax, all black and red, like some piece of meat that falls down the barbecue. He pressed the damaged limb to his chest, shaking in agony, as he looked at the flames again.

“It´s… It´s Holy Fire!”, he breathed out.

The angel gritted his teeth upon the sight- there was nothing left to save in the flames. He stood unmoving for a second, eyes broken in horror, in impotence, teary gaze locked on the people he hadn’t been able to save.

The fire had leaped through the walls, through the ceiling, had started dripping down to the floor with the curling wallpaper and paint. It reached the boiler placed in the middle of the hallway of the second floor, and a sudden explosion could be heard several houses away.

Dean, feeling himself right there, had covered his head with his arms instinctively. When he lowered them, he saw two things.

One: in the explosion, a screw had flown away in deadly speed from the boiler… and gone through Bobby´s head. The old hunter laid sitting against the wall, a trickle of blood on the white paper, head lolling to the side, looking as if someone had shot him on the head.

Second: Ellen and Jo had been too close to the explosion. They had both died instantly, hugging each other.

Cas reacted after the booming sound, looking wildly in all directions.

“We need to go!”, he screamed, running back to Sam and Jess.

As he passed by the bathroom, its slightly open door allowed to see Charlie dead on the bathtub. Everything was covered in blood.

Sam gulped, breathing frantic, face tear-streaked; frozen in place in horror as he hugged Jessica, trying to shelter her. Castiel got to them and pushed them towards the stairs, making them move; as the flames roared angrily, growing stronger by the second.

“Cas!!!”, Dean screamed, “Sam!!!”

Finally aware of where he was again, Dean pushed his shoulder against the door violently, trying to break it down. Anger, impotence, pain and rage coursing over him; he kicked it, punched it, took a metal bar from the ground and smashed it against the delicate glass.

But nothing happened. Not a single crack. It didn’t move an inch.

“Dean!!”, exclaimed Sam as they entered the kitchen, stopping by the glass door, voice a bit muffled by the barrier.

“Sam!! I can´t open, it won´t fucking open!!”

His brother´s horrified gaze turned up to eleven and he let go of Jess to try to open it, then gave it a powerful kick.

“Cas, teleport out!!”, Dean said in a shrilling voice.

“I can´t, Dean!”, the angel exclaimed, his good arm around Jessica in an attempt of protection, “I can´t use any of my powers since I teleported in!”

Dean´s eyes widened in horror. Some sort of guard? Some sort of magic, to trap them all there, that had let Cas get in, but…?

Sam stared at the glass door for a second after several attempts, panting, confusion and impotence making him grit his teeth. He raised angry and afraid, teared-up eyes to his brother.

Then the three of them looked back. Tongues of flame withered in, leaping at the kitchen´s ceiling.

Sam´s shoulders slumped, defeat on his features. He slowly looked down at his wife, the love of his life… pregnant with a son he´d never met, he couldn´t save. Jessica was gritting her teeth, sobbing, uncontrollable tears falling from her eyes. Cas tightened his arm around her, closing his eyes for a second.

They had all accepted their fate.

“No!!! No, no, no, no, NO!!!!”, Dean screamed.

He punched, roaring, he kicked; but a part of him already knew that the door wouldn´t move, wouldn´t open. He couldn´t save them, he´d never…

… a crack.

His heart stopped for a second before leaping forward. He took the metal bar again and hit down, roaring with all his rage. The angrier he got, the harder he could hit, and the crack extended an inch, three inches, under his rage.

“I´ll get you out, I _will_ get you out!!!”

No hope shone in Sam´s eyes. His brother extended his arms to wrap them around his wife, defeated, and they both melted together, kneeling to the ground. The angel advanced to stand between them and the flames, ruined arm dangling uselessly at his side.

“Dean. Dean, stop it”, Sam said weakly from the floor.

“No, Sammy!! I can get you out, I can…!!”

“You won´t be fast enough”, he breathed out shakily as tears flowed down.

And Dean stopped at that, panting. The crack was like a palm long now… but it wasn’t a matter of breaking the glass and gripping the doorknob on the other side. Sam had tried that, and it hadn´t worked. No, he´d have to tear it all down, to the wood, to the frame…

Castiel had risen his good arm to shelter his face from the heat and light of the flames. The fire was roaring in the ceiling, leaping at the walls, running down them so quickly.

Sam was right. He wouldn´t make it.

If he had been smarter… faster, stronger, if he had known, if he´d been better…

But he hadn´t. And now, he couldn´t save them. He´d failed them.

Breath heaving, sobs retching his chest, Dean´s eyes searched for his brother´s at the other side of the glass. His baby brother tried to smile at him through the tears, through the awful suffering that coursed through his whole body, before wincing in absolute regret and hiding his face into Jessica´s shoulder, holding her tightly. She did the same. 

Cas got down to one knee, breathing hitching in pain, a strained expression on his face. Being surrounded by this much Holy Fire could not be good for him. He turned around to put both arms around Jessica and Sam, wincing in agony as he moved his burned one, and he tried to cover them as much as he could with his trenchcoat, with his whole body.

And then, he looked up at Dean. 

The hunter was silently sobbing, immobile, unable to do anything else than stare. He expected accusation in the angel´s eyes. Disappointment. Anger. After all, he deserved it. He had not been good enough. Not good enough to save them, not enough, ever… 

But Cas smiled at him.

His ashen, pained face just made a sweet smile, as if thanking him. As if saying that it was okay. That he was happy. That it was enough. That it was really okay. There was only a little bit of sadness, but his fond eyes seemed to say _see you soon_.

And under Dean´s confused look, he put his good hand on the glass. An invitation. No demands, just an offering.

Dean froze for an instant. He felt… he that he couldn’t reciprocate the gesture. He didn´t deserve that, they were gonna die, because of him, there was no calm on this, no peace; and accepting that would be… accepting, and peaceful and… he couldn´t, he wouldn’t…

But… he knew he was running out of time. He couldn’t, but _he was running out of time_ , and he would have no other chance. So he gulped as he slowly, doubtfully, raised his hand to… take it closer… to the glass…

But before his palm could alight over the door, before their hands aligned, Cas whipped his head back.

The fire roared as if it was a living thing, and it fell down upon them.

The angel retreated his hand, tightening his grip on the couple, face diving forward to hide in Jessica´s hair- and after that, Dean saw only flames.

“NO!!!”

The first one to scream was Cas. It started as a grunt, as if he was trying not to make a sound, not to make Dean suffer; but it quickly evolved into agonizing yelling that mixed with that screeching sound his grace did when he was in true pain.

Jessica´s and Sam´s voices quickly followed Castiel´s, one higher-pitched, another more howling; a chorus of nightmares, the worst thing Dean had ever heard, he thought as he screamed too.

Because this time, Dean was close enough to hear it. And he couldn’t look away, but everything in him begged desperately for the sound to stop, to stop, to stop…

It eventually did.

And the _silence..._ was even worse.

Dean had fallen onto his knees at some point. He didn´t know when. He was sobbing, but he wasn’t aware. His eyes couldn’t tear off the glass. He could only see red flames, whirling and dancing.

 _Gone_ , he thought, _Gone… All gone…_

Above him… the sky was completely red, reflecting the fire that for some damned reason did not go outside of the house. He would have let it engulf him willingly. But it wouldn’t. He´d give anything to have died with them... But he hadn´t.

After the screaming, the sound of the fire seemed almost quiet. And Dean stayed there on the quiet, on the outside. Alone. Everyone he had ever loved, gone. Forever.

He stayed there, tears never stopping, world not making any kind of sense. Horror on his face. Time meaning nothing.

A small voice inside of him begged… _No, please. Please bring them back. Just a few moments ago… we were all so happy. Just… an hour ago, just…_

And then… a certainty in his heart.

He looked away from the fire. Because hope had raised in his heart suddenly.

He stood up gulping, cleaning the tears from his face. He could do this… Yes. He could _save_ them. He knew he could, he knew how. His face turned into a determined, angry mask.

In front of him, a shadow started to form. There… the one, he knew, who was the culprit. The one who had broken everything, who had taken his loved ones from him. The one who had dared raise a hand against his family, against his loved ones. The one that had come to ruin their happiness, to end their lives.

“Dean?”, he heard him ask in a confused tone, _the fucker_.

He knew that if he killed him, they would come back.

And they could be happy. Again… forever.

“Dean, it´s _me_!”

And Dean roared, murderous in his rage as he charged towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE gimme some comments, I really want to know what you guys think xD 
> 
> Gah, I love the journey between absolute fluff to absolute horror. I´m so sorry for Dean xD Realized how the Echidna has taken Dean´s memories and warped them to her will? I love it when she starts losing control of the dream... Poor Sam xD 
> 
> I know Cas left his trenchcoat in the chair, but it´s Dean´s dream, and that´s how he imagines him dying :) 
> 
> Btw, remember that in this timeline Charlie has not died yet. But... I put her in the bathtub cause I felt that if she was dying, that would be her way to go. Let's say that in this universe, it´s just a twisted way the Echidna made her die- but I loved the parallelisms of every death ^^
> 
> *Remember this chapter*. Things from there WILL come back... and every detail is important :)


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